ABORTION - GEORGE TILLER

I'm not sure all of you know who George Tiller is, but he was the late-term abortion doctor from Wichita, KS. Today he was shot and killed while ushering in church by a man from Merriam,KS.

I got the text and fell silent immediately. Anyone who knows me knows that I am VERY passionate about the issue of abortion and letting my voice be heard against the atrocity that has taken place in our country were millons of babies have been mass-murdered.

HOWEVER, two wrongs DON'T make a right! I've used that statement against abortion and the selfish reasons people use to undergo the procedure, but today I am using it against the crime committed against Tiller. It's horrible that someone justified murder for murder. Jesus says in the New Testament that if we "hate" our brother, we've committed murder in our hearts. God is very serious about this issue and we can't label something as "justice" because we believe it's for the greater good. It's not a "gift" or sacrifice that God sees as pleasing to Him!

I just felt to write a statement on here because I've been very open and outspoken on here concerning abortion and my thoughts on it morally - yet I wanted to acknowledge that in no way do I believe this is the "answer" we as Pro-Lifers are looking for. WE stand for LIFE...not LIFE unless we think it's better for someone to be gone.

I am hoping and praying that the pro-life movement isn't attacked by this tragedy. I can already hear the media and pro-choice rioters mocking what it is that we stand for and I'm sure there will be a definate attack on who we really are and what we truly believe in.

**(added @ 11:16pm) There are a couple statements I've read today as the news has progressed that have absolutely just sickened me though:

The family said its loss "is also a loss for the city of Wichita and women across America. George dedicated his life to providing women with high-quality health care despite frequent threats and violence."

Nancy Keenan, president of abortion-rights group NARAL Pro-Choice America, issued a statement praising Tiller's commitment.
"Dr. Tiller's murder will send a chill down the spines of the brave and courageous providers and other professionals who are part of reproductive-health centers that serve women across this country. We want them to know that they have our support as they move forward in providing these essential services in the aftermath of the shocking news from Wichita," Keenan said.

OH MY! Seriously - as much as I disagree with his murder, in no way does that out rule the murderous man that he was and yet both of these statements make him out to be a 'saint' who died for the cause. There is nothing "brave and courageous" about heartless murder. Ugh! His family said he provided women with high quality health care --OH COME ON! I'm just getting frustrated now at the ignorance. I'm sorry guys, but I cannot ignore this. They called these abortion clinics, "reproductive-health centers!!!" What about terminating a pregnancy and destroying a life makes a clinic earn the title of "reproductive-health center?" Maybe ANTI-reproductive health, because they are hindering the process of reproduction and taking health from a life!!!! OH MAN...this frustrates me. What I'm saying now isn't about "Tiller," it's about these people who see this as a noble thing, I'm beyond irritated by these comments and I'm going to choose to stop writing about them now before I get myself in trouble....

"Father God, I pray you'd show me how to love like you love and how to genuinely pray for this family as you'd have me to pray. Lord, I pray what the enemy meant for harm would be used for your glory. I pray the Tiller family would find hope in you alone Lord Jesus! Father God I pray you'd protect the innocent lives that were scheduled for execution this week - that their lives would be spared and they'd live to have a testimony as to how their life was snatched from the jaws of abortion. Lord Jesus, I pray you'd help those mothers to stop and think twice about the decision they were choosing to make and that their hearts would beat for the cry of life. I pray against confusion and ungodly thoughts amongst pro-lifers and anti-life groups alike. I pray that your truth would prevail and it'd be evident that murder isn't justifiable on either front. I pray that what has been done in the dark would be exposed in the light through this and the reality of abortion would be made clear. I pray that there wouldn't be question any longer as to it being a "moral" or "personal opinion," - I pray that it'd simply become truth. Abortion is murder - end of story. It's not a 'religious issue,' it's a human rights issue. Father God, I just pray you'd calm the storm raging in my heart and in my mind over this issue right now, I pray you'd give me wisdom and direction on how to stand in a way that your love is shown, not hate. I'm at a loss of words...I just pray that this backsliden nation would just be drawn back to you. I love you Lord and I'm crying out that you'd stay your hand and spare this nation full of greed, lust, perversion and blood-shed. In Jesus' precious name I pray, AMEN!"

SPEAK FOR THE WEAK

Romans 12:17 (NIV)
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.

Nightmare! Off Topic

For confidentiality purposes, I'm not going to disclose the names of the people I'm referring to in this post, but please be praying for them.

A couple who have been great customers of mine since I started at the bank (5 years ago), are living through tragedy that I cannot begin to imagine right now.

On July 19, 2007, their older son was driving home from the local pool/park and got into a bad car accident and his younger brother (8) who was riding along was killed on the spot. I remember the day their family members came in to open a Memorial account and the surreal feeling surrounding the tragedy. They said the older son had barely been home for a significant amount of time following the accident and had been hopping between friends house trying to avoid the reality of it all.

For a year or longer there was almost a blank gaze over the faces of the mom & dad who had lost their son. It was one of those, "what do you say, what do you do?" times.

Well, yesterday the same heart dropping moment happened again as the same family member entered the bank and informed us that the older son (19) was found not breathing Thursday (May 28). Nearly two years later, this family is having to relive their worst nightmare with the only son they had left. I cannot imagine, I cannot even try to imagine.

My heart breaks thinking about the anguish, grief, anger, confusion and various other emotions attacking this family right now. I don't have kids, but I know if I did I don't know how I'd go on living life when my world's be robbed from me.

I was listening to the Building 429 song this morning - Always, and part of me wants to give them that song, but I don't know if it will bring more healing or pain or a combination of the two.

I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night

Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye

Her face was taught and her eyes were filled, and to my surprise

She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside

She said, “He would’ve been three today

I miss his smile, I miss his face”

What was I supposed to say, but

CHORUS

I believe always, always

Our Savior never fails

Even when all hope is gone

God knows our pain and his promise remains

He will be with you always

3rd vs (I skipped 3 - the whole song is good though)

Friend, I don’t know where you are and I don’t know where you’ve been
Maybe you’re fighting for your life or just about to throw the towel in
But if you’re crying out for mercy, if there’s no hope left at all
If you’ve given everything you’ve got and you’re still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on, cause

CHORUS

I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains

Always, always, He will be with you always

Food is fuel, not our friend...

"Well, What's a couple a' bites like you doin' out here all alone?"

Haha, gotta love it! So yea, anyone who knows me knows that when it comes to movies, I'm TOTALLY stuck in the mind of a 5 years old. (no offense to 5 year olds - haha) So Pixar animated movies are like my weakness and Finding Nemo is one of my favorite pixar animated films and there is a line where they are having an "intervention meeting" and the sharks raise their fins and say...

"Fish are friends, NOT FOOD!"

So I was thinking today about how food is supposed to be our bodies source of fuel, not our best friend. I spoke with the fitness coordinator at Gold's Gym yesterday and she said, "You have to remember that food is supposed to be our energy not enjoyment." Now I know there is nothing wrong with enjoying our food, there are several scriptures referring to God's banqueting table, feasts and finer foods - The problem is when we begin ONLY eating for enjoyment and pleasure and in EXCESS...and face it friends, gluttony is sin! I think it's SO overlooked by the church today because in America, indulgence is common ground. Pastors rarely touch on it, and maybe it's because it doesn't seem as "sinful" as some sins. Besides, EVERYONE does it

...soooo, how can sin seem not AS sinful?

It's kinda an oxymoron - no matter what the "sin" is, it needs to be addressed if present in our personal lives. That doesn't mean a pastor needs to come and coax it out of us, if we know it's wrong - deal with it! There is a Bible verse in James 4:17 that says, "he who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it sins..."

I think it's a common misconception that "gluttony" is the fat person's sin. I beg to differ! I'd say there are just as many skinny Americans who over eat and indulge as there are overweight or obese. We've got to stop lying to ourselves and just call it what it is - gluttony.

Alright, jumping off my "soap box," and I'm heading to church. Proudly wearing my ugly green polo shirt which was from my first job (age 16), Jeepers, an indoor childrens amusement park. I CAN FIT IT AGAIN!!! Not only that, but I'm wearing a regular T-Shirt underneath it and I can STILL fit in it! Ah ha! Maybe this is starting to payoff.

God Bless!

Verse(s) of the Day:

1 John 5:16 (NIV)
16If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life.

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

Week Total: -0.4 (sigh)
Competition Total: -25.8 lbs

WEIGHT WATCHERS TOTAL (started Feb): -45.8 lbs

Oh well, at least it's a loss.

I don't know what more there really is to say other than read 2 posts back I believe and you'll hear my whining. Then read one post back and hear my "change of attitude" that results whenever I choose to look at the "bigger" picture. Whew <-- I'd usually crack some fat joke about that "bigger" picture comment, but I'm out of energy. :) So, if it's possible to bruise your rib cage by exercise, I think I learned how to from Monday and Wednesday's workout. I worked out with Debbie (a former personal trainer), and she had me doing air bicycles and backwards cruches and these funky side-twist thingys that all work your abdominal muscles. WOWIE! Ha, so as much pain as I'm feeling days later, I THINK I LOVE IT!!! It's a new feeling to think I have stomach muscles that may some day come to existence. So I'm super excited for the new things that next week holds:

1. Start of DEEP water aerobics on T-Th for the month of June - hoping to switch up my routine a bit to jump out of this seemingly endless plateau.

2. Start of my 9-week "Biggest Loser" competition for work...it will be interesting folks!

3. New month, hey, that's cool - start of month 5 of weight loss life-style changes

4. CHARGE! Yep, I think I'll be attending my 1st Royals game of the season. GO ROYALS!

Today I'm thinking on the things that are praiseworthy...

Verse of the Day:

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Application...

Clarification...

I made a post awhile back about how I DID fill out a Biggest Loser application but never submitted it - since then I've received multiple comments suggesting I "fill out the application." lol to clarify, I will not be submitting the application for the following reasons:

1. It's too late to submit an application, they start training the day following the season finale

2. Even if it weren't too late, I still wouldn't be submitting an application because even though I've been struggling with some slow weeks I know that any of us can do it without "Jillian."

When I made that post Shauna made a comment that I couldn't agree with more:

Shauna said...
You don't need biggest loser I will nag you and nag you until you lose all your weight, just to get me off your back. I am like a bad rash...:)!! good job this week. Have a fun trip, not too fun. hope you(r) leg gets better.

I have "Bob & Jillian's" right here at home that mean so much more because they know the deeper sides of me - they know the before and one day after side of me, they know me aside from a "weight loss journey" or a "contestant from a great show." They don't see me as just some chick trying to lose weight from Kansas but as a friend who no matter what happens, it won't be "good-bye and so long," after the season is over.

I completed that application before I started exercising and eating better as I had slim to no motivation to do it for myself. As incredibly cool as I think it'd be to have that sort of opportunity - I'm not at that place of feeling I have no other options anymore. To be honest, I hadn't even EXPLORED the options every one of us has at that point - which is simple:

GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Don't get me wrong, WAY easier said than done, but I'm so thankful that by faith I can be strengthened by the Lord. I can trust Him the whole way (even though in my weakness my words haven't really been depicting that so much last few weeks), but if I step back I really have a lot to be proud of. He's my strength, my refuge, my comforter, my encourager...I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! Amen? Amen!

Those contestants on Biggest Loser still have to go home and learn how to operate "off the ranch," without Bob or Jillian at their disposal. Without the show, I KNOW how to operate without that sort of training at my disposal. Granted they have A LOT to be proud of, yet somehow I'm more excited about what I'm doing for myself.

Since that "break-down" point of completing the application and stuffing it in my top drawer, I've successfully done the following (since Feb this year):

1. Joined weight watchers and lost 35lbs on plan

2. Joined a local 12-week "Biggest Loser" competition and lost 25lbs (10+ from stopping WW)

3. Made it over half-way through that competition and STILL haven't given up

4. STARTED a competition at my job, ON MY OWN that I've independently orchestrated, wrote contracts for, advertised, collected money and motived others with that starts next wednesday. We have 27 employees joining this 9-week competition that is completely ran by me with a payout to 1st, 2nd & 3rd place winners. (don't ever think you can't do something that encourages and motivates others.)

5. Went from working out 0% of my life to spending 6 days a week, 2x a day 3-5 of those days at the gym or out exercising in other ways.

6. Went from eating out breakfast, lunch & dinner to sparingly and at those times making wise choices such as grilled fish, salads and fresh veggies.

7. Went from NEVER talking about my weight and being silently embarrassed and ashamed of it to attending group meetings, starting a blog and openly talking to nearly anyone about my weight. <--this is seriously one of the biggest "inner heart" leaps for me.

I don't know about you, but I think I just changed my entire attitude around. Thanks for following me, you guys are just as important on this journey as me doing the work is...

God Bless!

By the way, check out Kristin Steede's blog from the Biggest Loser! She was my main inspiration from that show...

Quote from her site (I'd like to point out that I didn't read this until AFTER I wrote my post, so it was confirmation):

"I now see that the key to accomplishing my goals did not rest on the set of a reality television show. What it takes to change your life is already in each one of you; the trick is to uncover what it is that brings it out in you - and unleash it! Only you can turn your aspirations into reality."

Verse of the Day:

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)
23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

Verge of tears. :(

Who's gonna be my shoulder, cause I could use one to cry on. LIKE A PUDDLE OF TEARS! Or maybe a hug would suffice, I like hugs.

My body hates me.

That's the only conclusion I can conjure up that makes even an ounce of logical sense. I have worked out every day (except Sunday) TWICE a day this past week and not steered away on what I'm eating for the last two weeks (may I remind you that I worked out just as much last week too) and the scale is up 1-2lbs yet again.

WHY!?!

I have days when I absolutely dread stepping on the scale because I just KNOW the results I see are not going to make me leap for joy. There are other days when I confidently step on the scale - knowing I've left it all out on the floor for the week and I'm rudely awaken by a gain. That's been the case the past two weeks. I was actually semi-excited to see what I had accomplished and "done to make myself proud" as the Biggest Loser song says. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING apparently.

Sorry guys, this isn't much of an upper today.

I worked out with a Personal trainer on Monday night, who I also go to church with, and I am sore two days later from what we did. She had me doing things I didn't know my body could do. I actually enjoyed that and I will be seeing her again this evening. Apparently I have ab muscles somewhere in there and the actually feel kinda good AFTER I've worked them out - it's like that "good pain" feeling. Boy do they hurt, but it's a good hurt.


Verse of the Day:

Revelation 21:4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

...web of chaos

Okay, so this weekend we did our Memorial Day camp-out at my pastor's farm (and as usual, I slept in my friends room INSIDE the house instead of a tent because I'm not an outdoorsy kind of gal! haha. So anyways, I have a couple friends from church who used to be personal trainers and another girl who actually trained me for a couple months a few years back but it all fell though. Well, I've found that by asking for ideas and/or help, it's just spinning a bigger web of chaos. Seriously, the trainer at my gym tells me to do cardio on an empty stomach - all I should intake is caffeine. Then my friend Kim counters with, "That's ridiculous, is he trying to make you have a heart attack???" The personal trainer at the gym tells me CARDIO, CARDIO, CARDIO, yet another says, "No, you have to do weights - multiple reps at lower weights," yet today this guy says, "OH NO - you wanna do higher weights and it's not enough weight if you are able to do more than 10." One person tells me I should eat all fruits high in water for breakfast (watermelon or canteloupe) yet another tells me I should have a small protein such as yogurt. One guy tells me I should have AT LEAST 2 protein shakes a day without fruit or milk because it's unnecessary calories, yet another says I should avoid them since they often have added carbs. My competition leader tells me I should replace two meals a day with a shake and only eat one meal. AHHHHH.....CAN I SCREAM!?! I even had someone say I should NOT EVER drink milk, as it was not meant for us to drink. His exact words were, "Cow milk was meant for baby cows, not for humans. You wouldn't drink milk from another nursing mother would you???" WOW! It was a pretty graphic picture that grossed me out quite frankly...so now I'm scared of milk. haha. I was driving home and the scripture about God bringing them into the land flowing with milk and honey came to mind and I was like, "Wait a second...why would God bring them to a place "flowing" with it if we weren't meant to drink it. AY! Bible Study, anyone?

Then I started to think about how a persons way usually seems right until someone comes and challenges, refutes or brings evidence as to why it is incorrect. You can get caught up in all the madness and come out with a big mess of NOTHING! This is true for so many things in life...the one thing that sticks out to me though is faith. There are tens of THOUSANDS of different faiths and variations of faith out there and that's why it's imperative to use discernment and really know the truth. It says "the TRUTH will set you free..." We have to know the word and have to have an existing relationship with the Lord or else we have nothing to line the differences of opinion up with at the end of the day. You can't say someone cheated in a game if there was no rule book - there would be nothing to back your claim against. The word of God is our FIRM foundation and with everything that is fed to us throughout the years, some true, some evil and some flat out man-made, we HAVE to know what to base truth on.

The scripture for today is actually something God brought to my attention a few years ago as I was reading and it really stuck out to me. I began thinking about witnessing and sharing my faith with others and how if I'm not faithful to open my mouth and be used as a willing vessel, there are some who may not otherwise know truth as God's word presents it. The Bible says "We've all like sheep gone astray," and I know each of us searches for direction and that "one piece" of ourselves that is otherwise missing which can superficially be filled by everything from family, work, "religion," friends, addictions and even our own ideas - but we're never truly satisfied with those. There are so many 'ways' that seem right to a person because that's all they've ever known as truth - but that doesn't mean it's right. I can raise a child to absolutely believe that the color purple is BAD and until someone comes along and challenges that idea - my child is going to be convinced that purple is indeed bad.

John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Before I was really introduced to Jesus, I was convinced that my form of religion and being a "good person" person was just fine although I was constantly unsatisfied with my day to day life passing by. It took someone coming and actually presenting the Bible to me for me to see these written truths. Not only that, but it was presented with an absolute confidence and assurance that probably wouldn't have been effective had those speaking the words not really beleived what they were quoting. It took the Holy Spirit stirring me and bearing witness in my heart that this was real.

Verse of the Day:

Proverbs 18:17 (NKJV)
17 The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him.

Then & Now

Mom & Dad in Jamaica 2008 before weight loss

Mom & Dad in Jamaica (before weight loss)

Dad 2009 on Carribean cruise after 136 lb weight loss

Dad & Mom much lighter (about 170lbs lost as a couple)

Dad & Mom (aren't they cute) :)
Mom (34 lost) & Dad (136 lost) on Carribean cruise 2009

From my previous post I mentioned that I would post pics of Mom & Dad, so this post is simply for that matter. Yea, they look great don't they. :)

Dad took 1st place in Herbalife competition rewarding $1500 towards a trip for two anywhere.

Mom took 1st place in the work competition she initiated which paid for a room upgrade and extra expenses.

Speaking of, I orchestratred a competition at my job which is now up to 24 participants. I'm so excited about everyone's enthusiasm for the competition. I couldn't weed through all my emails before the end of my work-day due to the high volume of Competition response and questions I was receiving. It'll be a tough road though...that's a long extension from my original end date. :(

ALSO...

Support Missouri Right to Life by Attending Royals/Cards Game, Friday evening, June 19th

The KC Royals have made special arrangements so that you can order tickets online. These tickets are priced at $16.00 each plus a $2.00 service charge - so each ticket is $18.00. This is a great price and better than other online tickets - in addition part of proceeds are given to Missouri Right to Life. To get your tickets, go to this special KC Royals' website: Click here

Enter the password: life

From there you should be able to order your tickets. Please note that the shown price initially is $8.00 but by the end you will be charged $18.00 each.Order your tickets as soon as possible so that you can get the best seats - remember this game is popular and should be a sell-out.

Buy your tickets, enjoy the game and help fund pro-life!

Verse of the Day:

Ephesians 6:2-3 (NIV)

2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment
with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life
on the earth."

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

Week Total: -0.2 (sigh)

Competition Total: -25.4 lbs
WEIGHT WATCHERS TOTAL (started Feb): -45.4 lbs

Competition Standings: 6th place

I'm 7.6 lbs shy of catching up with our first place, however, this competition is obviously progressive and she's not going to just "stop" losing. Ideally, I need to pull off that 7.6 and some in a week in order to be back in the runnings which is a hard task. Ay!

I had gained 4 lbs over my vacation weekend which set me back to begin this week. To be honest, it's hard to look at the scale and then see your progress reflect -0.2. It's hard to avoid saying, "Good Night! If I was going to only lose .2 lbs I should've enjoyed my week at least and ate to my hearts content." After evaluating this week, I know my downfall was LACK of calories eaten because I laid it all out on the table when it comes to working out.

Monday - 50 min water aerobics/40min treadmill (w/ incline) + 30min upper body

Tuesday - 20 min treadmill (w/ incline) + 30min lower body/55 min walk/15min treadmill

Wednesday - 30 min walk/50 min water aerobics

Thursday - 40 min walk

The only thing I could be doing wrong is lack of eating as this weeks meals have consisted of grilled fish, steamed veggies, fresh fruit, protein shakes & water. NOTHING more. :( I've averaged maybe 500-700 calories a day, not because I'm intentionally starving myself but because I don't know what to eat.

Life goes on though, you take a moment to reflect and start as if it were Day 1 again...just as passionate and motivated as before. You have to be or else you'll surely "throw in the towel" (and let me tell you, -0.2 would be a throw in the towel moment if I didn't take captive my discouraging thoughts).

Sooooooo...onto the positive.

I am starting a 9 week weight loss competition at my job that runs June 3-August 5. As of now I have 10 confirmed contestants. One lady went home and told her husband and he asked if he could join too (and come weigh in here at the bank). Hey, if it's going to motivate him and positively affect his life, WHY NOT! The more the merrier and if it can encourage, challenge and motivate someone, who am I to limit them from that type of blessing? It's one of the best challenges and health things that could've happened for my life (next to Weight Watchers).

So onto the verse of the day, I don't just non-chalauntly post a scripture, I place whats on my heart and mind at the time and seems most fitting. The word is "sharp and active," it's living and true and I want to be relevant, encouraging and heart piercing when I relay the word God's placed on my heart for the moment...today was a hard one because as the day has went on, there have been so many scriptures on my heart and quite frankly ALL of God's word is relevant and powerful. It's funny because I have this blank paper at my work desk that I've been writing verses on since I got here as they are being stirred in my heart, that's a good day when God continuously stirs up the verses you've hidden deep in your heart. The verse I'm using however was none of those written down. Just as I was typing this blog entry, a Bible story came to me and I was like THAT'S IT! Let me give some background to explain why, I'm going somewhere with this...

In the book of Exodus there is a battle that was fought by Joshua and as long as Moses had his hands raised, Joshua prospered in battle. When Moses' arms grew tired and began to fall the enemy prevailed against Joshua. Two great "friends" of Moses saw what was happening and they came and placed a stone for him to sit on and each of them grabbed an arm and held them up for Moses throughout the night. VICTORY WAS WON for Joshua and in my opinion, Moses and those two good men fought and won the battle as well. The point of my story is it's great to have friends who are willing to fight with you in overcoming your battles and to come behind and "lift your arms" so to speak when you are weak and tired. Moses was lifting his arms to see the victory in Joshua's life, however, just like any of us would, he grew tired in the process and had men willing to come and strengthen him as he labored for Joshua's victory.

This story is such a beautiful illustration for me of friendship, teamwork & encouragement. The battle this blog is centered around is my weight loss journey. I am in the midst of battle and I have been so blessed to have a few "Moses'" to raise their arms and rally behind me to see me have the victory. It didn't stop there however, praise God...Shauna, being one of those "Moses's" had a few good friends who came right along behind her to see to it that I'm encouraged and don't lose the fight. She's not the only one fighting with me now, she's got a group behind her fighting with me as well. I am so grateful for all of you. I'm also grateful for the others who follow my blog, leave a kind word and/or pray for me. <-- I need it.

Shauna - Writing how much I am encouraged by you is a blog post of itself, but I'll limit it to I Love You! You've encouraged me and saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. You kick my butt when I need it but you also take me aside to compassionately show your real care and genuine concern for me. I can't begin describing what that means to me. You've got a heart of gold.

Laretha - WOW! Not only have you encouraged me in this journey of weight loss, but also by what you've written on your own site. We've got alot in common when it comes to what we are passionate about and it's great to meet like-minded people.

Jennifer - I think you've commented on almost every post I've written. I love logging on and seeing a short comment from you. Even when you were introduced to my blog after it had already began you even read back over the previous entries and left great words of motivation and encouragement. I LOVE your work and totally want a house for you to makeover. :)

Heather - I am SO glad I found your page via Weight Watchers message boards. I am so proud of you and all that God is healing you from and I'm also encouraged by your honesty in your posts, your love for the Lord and strength as a woman. Don't give up and WE will raise each other's hands in battle.

Audrey - Although she's not a blogger (yet), I am so blessed to have her as a friend. She's tried pushing me for years to dedicate to better health and when I finally made the decision, she was right there with me to see I follow through with it. She joined this weight loss competition with me fully knowing chances were slim to none she'd win (as she's really small already), but she's encouraged me so much by working out with me, changing eating habits with me and keeping me in check. haha. She knows the real "Mesha" and knows I'm driven by competition so she's willing to help provide that competition if it gets me moving.

Dad & Mom - I LOVE YOU! Can I just give a shout-out to them really quick??? They both got involved in this healthier living WAY before I'd given it real thought. I easily got annoyed when they brought it up to me because quite frankly I was like, "if I've been this way for this long, why start now." It's a decision I think everyone makes in their own timing or else they fail. Well what ended up ultimately motivating me was watching them do it. I couldn't stand them pestering me about it, but when I saw the work in progress I knew it was attainable. My Dad has lost 136lbs give or take a few and and Mom lost 34lbs. Dad lost 69lbs in 9 weeks and took 1st place awarding $1500 in his most recent competition. Mom started a 12 week competition at her job and took 1st place. They used it their winnings towards a carribean cruise. (I'll add pics later) They are my personal "Biggest Loser" heroes.

Scripture(s) of the Day:

Exodus 17: 10-13

10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

little foxes

I was pondering this weekend while on vacation and I began thinking about how I ended up SO overweight? It's easy to say, "Well, I've been this way my whole life..." but the more I pondered it I realized, "No Mesha, you didn't start off this weight." A more honest statement would be, "I've been overweight my whole life, however, I gradually made my way to the record number I reached."

It's a slow fade (listen to that song on my music player below - GREAT SONG!)

It's crazy how things slowly progress and you don't recognize what's beginning to happen in your life until it's gone WAY too far. I remember when I was satisfied at Taco Bell with 2 crunchy tacos and a medium drink. It somehow went from there to a chicken border bowl, 2 crunchy tacos, a beef & cheese mexi melt AND a LARGE Dr. Pepper. If you were to ask me, I wouldn't have even recognized that my eating habits had changed so drastically, yet my order slowly kept increasing over the years.

The same thing is true about clothing. Just think for a moment, it normally started with going to your favorite clothing store and picking out that pair of jeans you just couldn't live without. Well, you pick out you "current" size and while in the fitting room you discover, "Wait, these are a little too snug for comfort. It must just be the brand, every one makes them a little different." <-- If that isn't the biggest deception in weight gaining, I don't know what is. You casually grab the next size up, afterall, these jeans are SO CUTE! (Or as Shauna would say, "Sassy!") Now you've got a little extra room for comfort and to grow. This trend continues throughout the years without much thought until it hits you....

'HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN!'

As usual, this all to common scenerio has a spiritual lesson to be learned as well. Just how weight gain slowly creeps up on you, sometimes completely unnoticed - so does sin. It may start with grabbing that celebrity gossip magazine that has the latest pics of the hottest stars. Then you start watching sitcoms that may display a little more passion and lust than you would have watched before. Then you "accidentally" stumble across that website on the internet that has some risky pictures, but you only peek, you don't "meditate" on it. Before you know it you are eaten up with lust and bound to pornography and have NO clue how it went this far. You are now out of control and a life of freedom from whatever the addiction may be seems absolutely foreign. There is a scripture that says, "it's the little foxes that spoil the vines." Something small can turn out disasterous to your well-being because as the small fox destroy the root and spoils the entire vine, addiction does the same thing. It eats at the desire (or root) and slowly destroys that area of freedom when not addressed.

Song of Solomon 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

One of my favorite quotes is:

"Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you wanna
stay and cost you more than you wanna pay."

It's so true for sin AND weight gain though. You don't just wake up one day obese, you continue on a path that leads there which in the end leaves you miserable, unhealthy and working hard to recover. *sigh*

Verse of the Day:

3 John 1:2 (NIV)
2Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well

VACATION!

Me & Amy's feet on the trolley (what's vacation without flip-flops)

Amy & I (She graduated from Dallas Baptist University)

This REALLY cool salad place in the food court of the mall (it was like the Chipotle of a salad joint)
This incredible house we drove by in the neighborhood George Bush lives in. It was HUGE! This is just the front of the house, it goes back really far too. (I hope it's not illegal to take pics of peoples houses.)
Me, Amy & Ashley

Amy (the graduate) & I @ night on the trolley (Ashley's snoozing on the seat behind us)

Dallas, Texas

On Thursday I left for Dallas, TX with a nights stay in Tulsa, OK on the way. It was the PERFECT timing for a mini "road trip" to break away from everyday chaos here. My good friend Ashley and I drove up to witness our friend Amy's graduation from DBU.

Friday night we went out to eat (I had Tilapia, Mashed Potatoes and Green Beans w/ unsweet tea). We came back to dangle our feet in the pool & have some R&R time. It was great because the pool has this cool fountain that has this block in the middle of the water you can sit on and although I didn't get "into" the pool, I was in the middle dangling my feet over and enjoying some quiet time in prayer. Later that evening, we toured the city and stopped by Starbucks. We rode on their trolley system which is FREE minus tips. It made for a nice ride as the weather was WONDERFUL. Amy then took us around further downtown to see the "sites." They have this cool outdoor sit-in (like a drive-in) in the middle of all the downtown buildings that kinda resembled the P&L district/NY to me.

Saturday morning I was totally pumped to wake up and take a morning walk in Texas around the campus, which was one of the most beautiful campuses I've stayed on, but to my dismay, I walked out to POURING RAIN! Ah Stink! "There goes that idea..."

Instead of our mornings being ruined, we decided sit by the poolside and do some reading while listening to the rain. Can I just say God is amazing, it was a great time of Bible reading and just enjoying the sound of rain. I wish I had my journal, because it would have made for the perfect poetry writing time.

So I decided to read 1 Timothy and as I was finishing up I read the following passage:

Verse of the Day:

1 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV)

7Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

I thought it was SO fitting as my original intention of waking up so early was to go out and get in some weekend exercise in hopes of counter-acting some of my weekends "not so good" eating choices, however, due to weather I spent that time reading God's word instead. I came to this scripture and sorta laughed to myself thinking, "God knows what to do in order to get our attentions." YES! Exercise is important, but it can NEVER profit us more than spiritual training. Moreso than any physical exercise we should be equipping our "spirit man" for living life. I've been so caught up with all this "Exercise, competition, eating smart, work, "church,"..." that I haven't really sat down to just relax and have some REAL fellowship with God. I haven't neglected Him or His word but I haven't slowed down to say "this is YOU & ME Jesus, I need some time for just us!" Saturday morning I got some of that "us" time.

Benches outside poolhouse where had quiet reading time

Today (Sunday) we actually walked, YES WALKED, to church for service. "The Potter's House," TD Jakes' church is located a little ways down the street from the campus and if you saw the size of this church, walking was DEFINATELY the better option. I haven't really followed too much of TD Jakes ministry and/or church, however, it was a neat experience. Right when you walk through the sanctuary doors there's a sign reading, "By entering these doors you are consenting to being broadcast on live television and/or having photographs taken." I'm pretty sure we were on TV probably a couple times as the camera man was right in our faces...haha. "The Potter's House," is nothing like my home church, but I had a great time & liberty in worship. I jokingly said to my friend, "if I went to this church every Sunday for a year, I'd lose weight in no time." I thought my church was a lively bunch, they blow us out of the water with energy & excitement. I still bless God for the church family He has blessed me with though, I wouldn't trade em for anything...well..haha, that saying that says, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick you family," I think that applies with our church families sometimes too, haha, but God has each of us where we are for a reason until He calls us elsewhere. Amen? Amen!

Well, that was my weekend friends...back to what should be a hard-core week granted my injured leg doesn't limit my workouts.

God Bless!

Click here to read my most recent post on abortion. *sigh*

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

Weight Loss Competition: Week 5

...well, I weighed in a day earlier than usual since I will be in TEXAS this weekend for my friend Amy's graduation. I'll be gone 2morrow before my normal meeting time. It'll be hard staying on track while on "vacation" if that's what you wanna call 16+ hours on the road over 4 days. Shauna, you MAY or MAY NOT see me on Monday morning depending on the ability to remove my face from my pillow. Yikes!

Onto the results...

Week Total: -2lbs
Competition Total: -25.2lbs

Competition standings: 1st PLACE (granted the final competitors have yet to way in 2morrow night AND Jennifer, my biggest threat at the moment hasn't logged her weight.)

Weight Watchers Total (since Feb. 09): -45.2lbs

Seriously, this is the first week that Jennifer hasn't weighed in on monday which can be an extremely GOOD or extremely BAD sign for me. Our competition administrator, Kelly, mentioned this evening that Jennifer had stopped by for an "unofficial" weigh in, however, requested it not be registered for the records. She said, "I have another day, I'll be back for my weigh in 2morrow." OH SNAP!!! The roller coaster emotions involved in something like this can drive a person nuts. I am currently at .1% above her previous weeks total.

Good news is I actually lost after an INCREDIBLE week last week, so I can't complain because at least the scale moved. Mad props for Shauna, because I was the exact same weight when I jumped on the scale before Water Aerobics. However after a kick-butt hour of water aerobics followed by some steam room action and a trip to the restroom (I drank too much liquid) - haha - I managed to be down by time to tally the totals. We'll see what this next week holds in store. My competition buddy, Audrey, will be texting me this weeks final results 2morrow evening while I'm on the road.

Cross your fingers folks...

*side note*

BIGGEST LOSER FINALE

ARE YOU KIDDING ME - I am proud of every single one of those guys, HOWEVER, totally disappointed that Tara did not win. Seriously, they all disserve it, so I'm not going to say "SHE TOTALLY DISSERVES IT," but AY, kinda a bummer. I believe Helen is seriously at an unhealthily low weight now. That's not cool, not cool at all.

Tara looks PHENOMINAL (sp?) as did Mike and even Ron. And Kristin, are you serious, she's gorgeous. WOW...I totally should've applied. I have my app fully completed and in my dresser drawer, however, I was too embarrassed to ask one of my friends to make a video for me, I know, how cowardly is that? Plus, I don't quite understand how they all make a living while they are away from home. I don't have a husband as supplementary income, I don't live at home with my folks, I pay rent, have a car payment, phone payment, insurance and the list continues. How do you pursue a fabulous opportunity like that and still make ends meet? That's the one thing I still wonder. Hmmm...

Verse of the Day:

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

TEMPTATION...

I could probably go a million places with this post today, but to your advantage I'd rather not take you into the "world of Mesha," where you'll be left looking for the "exit" door.

This morning I stepped on the scale only to find that I was at the EXACT same weight of my weigh-in last Thursday. No need to lie on my blog, I was a bit disappointed with the discovery. You totally want to have BIG weeks like I did for week 4, however, that "broken scale" feeling you receive the following week can be a little discouraging. It's hard to pull off anything significant after such a dramatic number the previous week. *sigh* It really doesn't help that I somehow injured myself a few days back on the treadmill. THE LAST THING I NEED AT THIS POINT OF THE COMPETITION IS AN INJURY FRIENDS! (pray for me if you think about it)

Well, as I'm leaving water aerobics class one of the wonderful ladies says, "You know, if the number doesn't move you can always take a water pill." Okay, so I don't know where she's been or how she missed my whole "laying down of the the water pill" process, but I guess that memo wasn't broadcast. haha. The idea sounded so appealing considering it was my crutch the first 2 weeks and I knew doing it just this "once" AGAIN wouldn't hurt.

WHO AM I FOOLING...

NOPE, I said I was done with them and I fully intend on following through with that decision (until the last week which I've said from the beginning). Although taking a water pill isn't necessarily bad for me, I know it can become an obssession to lose weight in an unhealthy, unnatural way. I do not want to come out of this with an eating disorder and poor self-image - I want to come out healthy, happy & confident. Depending on nothing other than God himself - not a weight loss plan, competition, water pill or the like.

Verse of the Day:

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

So for a quick note on the verse I chose to use today, this was one of my first memory verses when I got saved at age 16. As is all scripture, I think it's a powerful verse. God is faithful and there is ALWAYS an exit provided out of temptation, we just have to be willing to take it. I've said before, "We can't cry 'Lord lead us not into temptation,' and then walk deliberately into it." I have to quote that to myself probably more than to others as I'm guilty of often not opening my eyes to see the exit God has graciously provided. Through life we will be tested, but how will the grade turn out??? I'm going to be honest, in another area I failed the test today, SERIOUSLY screwed up, but we get up and keep going. Amen? Amen! God's word never fails, it's us who fall short.

p.s. check out my other blog, Jusified, to read my latest post and a bit of my testimony.

...kids say the funniest things

Acacia (8) - Playing at the park - brilliant 3rd grader

Shawndrea (2) - Be awnry as usual - but yet so adorable

Tamika (5) - sharing her icecream with her clothes

Me (23) - WHAT!?! Can't I have fun @ the park with my cousins too???

Mother's Day Weekend

Mother's Day weekend was a BLAST! Following the "Walk for Life" event on Saturday (see post below), we jumped in the car and drove 3 hours to Newton, KS where my grandparents live for about 24 hours of good ol' family time. We had a TON of fun and all my cousins were there too. Of course what is Mother's Day weekend without food...right! Yea, so on Saturday after arriving my parents took my grandma to dinner at Ryans, none other than an ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet!!!

ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET - A glutton's heaven a.k.a. an oversized feast offering every type of high-fat, high-calorie menu item your heart could desire.

"What's that? You would like Extra Cheesy Mac N Cheese, Mashed Potatoes with white gravy, Fried Chicken, Cheese Pizza, Tacos, a dinner roll with honey butter & Steak? Sure thing, help yourself..."

Don't forget it is complimented by a dessert bar that is equally tempting.

So my cousin's have never been to an All You Can Eat Buffet, they've spent a lot of their little lives between foster homes and families houses due to unfortunate situations. Right when we walk passed the buffet bar to our table, Acacia, my 8 year old cousin immediately pipes in with, "They have EVERYTHING here." She then goes to make her plate and returns to the table. Well this is where it cracks me up - the waitress approaches our table with a basketful of freshly baked dinner rolls. Acacia looks around and then very softly and innocently says to my grandpa,

"Are they trying to stuff us?"

I enjoyed every minute of the laughing and joking that followed that curious question! How fitting is that statement of a buffet. The thing I found most interesting by it though is the sense of almost disguist that accompanied the question - it was as if she was offended by the abundance of food that had been offered to her all at once. THIS IS AN 8 YEAR OLD WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE! I wish I could get disguisted by the wide variety of food myself - if America could as a whole, we'd be in a much healthier state.

I think buffets fall right in line with America's self-indulgent, impatient, "convenient or it's unacceptable" mentality that has become apparent in our food choices, media, stores, finances, living arrangments and so on. Now I'm not saying a buffet is "the devil," haha, however, it is sad that children in South Africa receive two meals A WEEK of mashed pumpkin for food, yet we're in America sitting before our smorgasbord of food and upset if they run out of our favorite dish(my friend Audrey went on a mission last summer to S. Africa and reminded me of this today because it's so easily forgotten by us who have every food imaginable easily at our disposal). It really is sad when we think about it...has our stomach become our god???

Off of the "heavy" now, onto the food choices I made @ the buffet (the good & bad - haha):

• Tbls sweet potatoes
• Corn on the cob
• Steamed Broccoli w/ spaghetti sauce
• 2 servings seasoned green beans
• 2 servings mashed potatoes (w/ skin) <-this was my downfall. :(
• Fresh Pineapple
• Melon (cantaloupe & honey dew)

On Sunday they barbecued and made ribs, cheeseburgers, hotdogs, potato salad, mac n cheese (my favorite food if I haven't mentioned that before), baked beans and cherry cheesecake.

While they all enjoyed themselves freely I had the blessing of partaking of the following, lol.

• Blackened Cajun Grilled Fillets (2) - 100 calories 3 g of fat 17 g protein per fillet
• Steamed Broccoli (a lot) - 30 calories 0g of fat per serving
• Ranch Dressing (yes friends, I ate ranch dressing on my broccoli - why does it have to taste so stinkin' good!?!) - 110 calories 11g of fat for 2 tbs - I had at least 2 1/2 servings. *gulp* AY!

Verse of the Day:

Matthew 5:6 (NKJV)
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.

Walk 4 Life 2009

Team: "Speak for the Weak"

Audrey & I - After Walk

Creativity Award - Momma, Me, Audrey, Val, Matt & Patty

Walk 4 Life 2009

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."

2 miles - yep, I know it's not much, however, it was for a cause that weighs heavy on my heart and it's just a bonus that my assistance could be given by exercise. My team's name was "Speak for the Weak." We raised around $1,400 as a team (5 members). We also won an award for creativity. This year I was able to celebrate a few "personal victories," aside from the cause itself.

• This is the first year that I didn't finish last
  
• Not only did I not finish last, aside from the joggers, I finished about 10 from the front
  
• I DID NOT TRIP AND FALL ON MY FACE (only my friends will understand this)

"Walk for Life" is an annual event and it's proceeds go to Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers. It's a smooth 2 mile benefit walk to raise awareness and help fund their Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Crisis Pregnancy Centers exist to aid women facing unplanned pregnancies who may feel they have no where to go for help with the "choices" they face ahead.

This is a PRO-LIFE organization that offers free sonograms, medical services, baby necessities, counseling, parenting courses, sexual integrity courses, abortion recovery counseling, Bible studies & various other services. Their heart's cry is that these women would choose LIFE instead of abortion.

Since 1973, over 45 million legal abortions have been performed in the United States.

There is a common mis-conception in our nation that it's a woman's "right" to choose whether she wishes to terminate her pregnancy. It's made out to be all about that woman without taking into account that precious life growing inside that is now depending on her to make the right decision. We've got so caught up in this selfish view-point of what benefits "me," how does this inconvenience "me," am "I" ready for this...and we've over looked the second person in this equation. There is a living, breathing, active baby who has it's own unique qualities, personality and calling over it's life.

The womb should be the safest place for a baby to be, however they've been striped of those protections.

In the Declaration of Independence we are promised "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..." yet the smallest amongst us isn't granted those rights. God's gift, that precious baby doesn't have the opportunity to pursue happiness when they are robbed of LIFE!

Two wrongs don't make a right...

The most common argument for abortion is "What if the mother was raped?" Rape is a HORRIBLE, sick, vicious hate crime and there is no excusing such a painful act. Everything in me sympathizes for someone who was forced to experience such a tramatic event. My answer to this question though is simple, "Two wrongs DO NOT make a right!" We learn that as children, yet we have adults running our nation who can’t comprehend that concept.

Do we kill other criminals’ children for the crime of their fathers?

I’m not making light of the violent hate crime that rape is, however, adoption is an option that doesn’t involve murder. There are positive choices a mother facing this situation can make without "repaying evil with evil."

Those who may have already had an abortion...

There is forgiveness, healing and hope for anyone who has undergone an abortion - God's love can heal a wounded heart. It's just as important to have the abortion recovery counseling that Advice and Aid Pregnancy Center offers as any of these other services. The pain and grief that follows an abortion can take years to overcome, but by God's grace and forgiveness, peace can come.

Alright, I'll step off of my soap box now, this is an issue I'm passionate about so it's hard to keep me from laying my heart bare on the matter.

Verse of the Day:

Proverbs 31:8 (NIV)
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.

12 Week Weight Loss Competition

THE RESULTS ARE IN...

Weight Loss Competition: Week 4

Week Total: -10.8 lbs

Competition Total: -23.2 lbs

Inches Lost: -10 in.

WEIGHT WATCHERS TOTAL (started Feb): -43.2 lbs

TAKE A MINUTE...I'LL LET IT SINK IN!!!

Yep, that's 10.8 lbs LOST in only 7 days. Not gonna lie, I was on cloud 9 ALL DAY!!! The downer was the fact that the competition administrator misinformed me that I'd taken 1st place and it gave me that extra edge of excitement all day only to have my bubble busted once I later found that I was actually in 2nd place.

BUMMER!!!

Sometimes you just need to take a step back though, I still have a reason to be proud. In one week I took myself from 8th place to 2nd. It's a good feeling. To be honest, I don't know if I can win this competition, but after tonight I'm able to play with the idea of it.

My best friend Audrey is participating in this competition with me and one of the last things she had said jokingly to our friend was, "I'm totally schooling her by percentage." *smirk* I already knew what my total was so I just silently laughed along with the comment and let her READ IT AND WEEP! She walked right in the doors to the competition room and left her bottom lip on the floor. WHAT!?! OH YEA...who's schooling who? "Uh, friend, I think you need to re-read your text book cause your understanding was wrong." Yep...she went from 2nd place last week to 7th this week. I gotta give it up to her though, girl has been working out like a beast and eating right. She's lost a total of 5.1%. In 4 weeks losing 5.1% of your body fat is tremendous! She's about 10lbs away from her goal weight which I know she'll hit with a breeze.

The undefeated first place holder stands .5% ahead of me. How crazy is that!?! She lost 1 lb this week and has a total of -3.75 inches lost. Week 2 she annihilated us by pulling 13lbs lost in one week. I'm sizing up the competition so you may hear a lot more about "Jennifer," my biggest threat at this point in the game.

The Good News (Biggest Loser fans):

"This chick can't get voted off the ranch! Oh no, the only place I'm going is to the scale for the next 8 weeks. There are no 'alliances' here."

Verse of the day:

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

...my "Friday"

THURSDAY - tonight is my Weight Loss Competition Weigh In. This will be the first time we do measurements since Day 1. (<-click link to read about week 1)

CHECK BACK this evening for Week 4 results.

When you are in a weight loss competition you begin to take on a "new" mentality. All of a sudden weeks don't operate the way they used to, with a loooooong 5 day work-week followed by the all so anticipated weekend where you veg-out, spend WAY too much money and most of that wasted money is on FOOD! Oh yea, and any church-goers probably know about the "after church fellowship," which usually involves none other than food. I'm talking all-you can eat buffet, steakhouse, fast-food, burger joints all washed down by over-sized carbonated, sugar filled, no nutrient value soft-drinks. OH...and don't forget your sweet treat that follows. What's that? Did I hear you say...COLD STONE CREAMERY??? DAIRY QUEEN???

WOMEN - Chocolate...huh...YEA! (go ahead, shake your head YES!) Oh Snap!

SERIOUSLY...you can stop your drooling right there, this is a WEIGHT LOSS BLOG...come on!

When you are part of a weight loss competition your week-days END on another "friday." Let's continue with their definitions.

"Friday": The day of the week representing Weigh In day. Also known as the last day of a competition week. The average individual prefers to weigh-in first thing in the morning as generally the scale reflects a lighter weight. HOWEVER, when you are in a competition, you jump on the scale first thing in the morning (at home) and then put in that 'second wind' of energy ALL DAY knowing you'll be lighter by evening on the one scale that matters. Contrary to popular belief, "Friday" is not the start of the weekend. In competition terms "friday" is just another day to kick your butt at the gym because you didn't receive the results you had hoped for and now the scale is reflecting that. In a normal calendar week, Thursdays are my "Friday."

Saturday: Oh no friends, this isn't the weekend either. This is the day you DRAG YOURSELF OUT OF BED first thing in the morning while everyone else sleeps in and take all your "Friday Frustration" out on the treadmill. This is followed by an ice cold WATER...and if you are daring enough, some fresh fruits and veggies.

Sunday: A day of rest. Praise God! Start off the day with some praise & worship followed by a challenging service and you are filled up with God's goodness...

...but THEN...then it becomes TORTURE! Followed by the dismissing "Amen," comes the "so where do you guys wanna go eat today!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME...can't you see I need to lose 3 OF YOU! haha. Your heart begins racing, you have a small panic attack and thoughts flood your mind of victory or defeat!

"Do I lock myself in a hole?"

"Do I go and just not eat?"

"Do I splurge because, afterall, it's Sunday?"

"Or am I capable of making a wise menu decision?"

The answer to the question often reflects if you've learned how to make a life-style change for the better, or simply compete in a competition. I'll leave the answer up to you.

...stay tuned!

Verse of the Day:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

...ps My Comments Are Working Again

yea, so I guess I had a little "problem" with my blog allowing comments last week.

GOOD NEWS: I think it's been fixed.

Also, I have started a secondary blog where I'll let out the raw emotion of my heart as a Christian, talk a little on faith, scripture, poetry, testimony, politics/current events and basically anything other than weight loss. Haha. So you can check it out here: Click Me The first post gives a defination of what it's all about, but enter at your own risk. You may be encouraged, challenged, rubbed wrong, offended (although I hope not) and a mixture of other things. A lot of my heart will be laid bare over there.

Anyways, onto what "THIS" blog is all about. So check this out, I go to my friends gym last night and we walk in to a counter FULL of large pizzas. Seriously, what's this all about I wonder. Hmm...so yea, apparently the first Monday of every month they offer free pizza to the members.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That's like when the dentist brings you a basket full of candy for Christmas. What is that all about for real?

I took a couple pix of the oxymoron, however, they didn't turn out very well to my friend Audrey's advantage. haha...she posed for me flexing with one arm and holding open the box with the other with the great background of treadmills & ellipticals.

I mean, I can understand gimmicks to try and "sell" your gym and all, but can't you hand out Fiber One bars or something? How about some bottled waters? Protein Shakes??? Come On.

Shauna, I fully expect an entire BREAKFAST when I come see you 2morrow, I mean given it's the first Wednesday of the month. I'm talking buttermilk pancakes, strawberry syrup, hashbrowns (browned well), 3 scrambled eggs with cheese and a LARGE Orange Juice (no pulp please). I mean, ya gotta keep me coming baby!

OH, and can that be ready by 9:15, I have to go to work straight from class. HAHA

...hard-core Thursday

So I'm a little behind on this weight loss competition update, so here we go.

Weight Loss Competition: Week 3

Lost: 1.4lbs Competition Total: 12.4lbs

WEIGHT WATCHERS TOTAL (started Feb): 35lbs

It was a rough week in the sense that once again I had gained nearly 5lbs from Competition WI (Thursday) to Weight Watchers WI (Saturday). Not to mention I started on Tuesday and "bloat" doesn't begin to describe what I felt. Every other Thursday I have off work so I am able to go hard-core and this happened to be that Thursday. As I previously posted, I told myself that I'm done with the water pills and starving myself (until the last WI of course.), and this was my first WI to follow through with that commitment. That morning I weighed in at 4lbs up than the previous week. OH SNAP! 4lbs in a day again, and Aunt Flo's in town AND NO WATER PILLS!!!

"You've GOT to be kidding me!!!"

Well, I made my way to water aerobics for an hour kick butt lower body session with none other than my "personal Jillian," SHAUNA!!! I then drove to my gym to follow up with 30mins of cardio and 10min in the hot sauna. After about an hour of facebook, I went for a walk with my Dad which proved to be motivating. "Go Hard or Go Home" BABY!!! We had no pre-plan of where to walk and this was the latter part of our walking dialogue:

Dad: "Should we turn now?"
Mesha: *gasp* "Naw, let's go one more block..."

That conversation lasted for approx. 1 more mile! SUHWEET! We put in 2.8miles total. After returning home I did 10min of step aerobics on the Wii Fit and had concluded that if I hadn't lost, I hadn't lost...I was fully prepared to pay the $4 for my gain as I felt like I'd laid all I had out on the table. I hit that competition scale and NOT ONLY did I drop those 4lbs that I was up that morning, but I also deducted an additional 1.4 lbs down as icing on the cake (wait, not cake, I can't have cake - ummm..."as peas with my carrots." HAHA)

OH BUT WAIT...the good news doesn't stop their friends, it keeps getting better. I cancelled my Weight Watchers monthly pass, (which makes me incredibly sad), but I wanted to go back today for two main reasons:

1. I knew I had hit my 10% milestone, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me (which also meant 2 more 5lb stars as well).

2. I wanted to formally say "Goodbye until July" to Roxanne, my weight watchers leader who rocks (no pun intended).

I didn't start out in Feb going to her meetings, but I had to do a make-up once on a Thursday I believe, and she was the leader. I THOUGHT SHE WAS GREAT. She's funny, sweet, young, GORGEOUS and seemed like someone I could sit and listen to without getting bored. That's when I switched my meeting days to Sunday mornings before church, which she also leads. I heard her talk about some inspiring "personal" motivations for her and the changes she got to experience as she lost - but in the back of my mind I always sorta thought - seriously, there is no way this woman understands the LEAST about a significant weight loss like I face ahead of me. I think she's great, but overly fabricating her stories. I mean, everyone sees themselves much bigger than they really are and its apparent she is one that had that same illusion. Well, I checked out her website 2 weeks before my subscription ended and read her story. ROXANNE LOST 95LBS IN 2000. For 9 YEARS now she's kept it off (exception to having children). GOOD NIGHT! I'm not gonna lie, I have a significantly longer journey than that, however, that stirred me up.

I seriously think God has been showing me over the last month to throw away my pre-conceived ideas because I've had numerous experiences where I'm left speechless because I "pre-judged" a situation or person. So much of life can be wasted by carrying that sort of mentality.

I'm not just losing weight, I'm gaining life...

I'm learning so much about myself and it's been so illustrative of my walk with Christ. I just want to grow in Him...I want to fall more in love with Him. I feel like as I'm learning to be more confident and obedient in my physical life it's bringing me to a WHOLE new place in my Christian life.

1 Corinthians 9:26-27 (NIV)
26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.