What's Up...

NOT THE SCALE!!!

12 WEEK WEIGHT LOSS COMPETITION: WEEK 2

-1.6lbs lost Total: 31.6lbs

Well, after a dissappointing WW weigh-in on Sunday followed by having to work all week in hopes of just catching back up by Thursday, I pulled it off. However, I can't take credit of my own and I realized I haven't been exactly doing it in a "safe" way. I took 3 water pills jam-packed with 100mg caffeine each yesterday in hopes of dropping the excess weight I needed to lose before the weigh in. Well, not only that, but I only ate 100 calories for the day, before 10am along with the equivalent of 1 glass of water until 7pm that evening. I'm realizing that although competition drives me, it's not worth it to greater risk my health by doing it in an unsafe manner. AY! In 12 weeks the competition will be over - and let's face it, in 12 weeks I will STILL have a long ways to go. So then what, do I stop working at it? I need to be motivated for me, not just for some competition. My friend Richie made a really good point to me the other day, he said,

"You don't join your first competition "expecting" to win, you join it to prepare for the next. Mesh, if you get caught up in the competition and just wanting to win you forget why you are even doing it. It's supposed to be to get healthy, not just win."

I'm half-way convinced that it had a strong effect on me because I was in shock from that sort of comment coming out of HIS mouth...lol...but regardless, point was taken. So...from this point on, the competition is my motivation, but it's not detrimental if I don't win. It's not detrimental if I'm lagging for a week. It's even not detrimental if I experience a small gain...this is a "life-change" not a competition.

I subscribe to the Jillian Michaels "Tip of the Day" and today's read:

One Size Doesn't Fit All

Ever try to squeeze your feet into shoes that are one size too small just because you love the style? Doesn't work, does it? Well, maybe you can cram your feet into those shoes for the sake of a special evening, but you can't wear them all the time. They're just too uncomfortable!

Starving yourself with the goal of creating a physique that's contrary to your natural body type is a similar thing. You might get there for a month or two, but eventually your body will rebel.
Ultimately, there are three basic body types. It's important to understand your shape and know what you can and can't expect. Which one best describes you?

Now, I COMPLETELY was like, "Way to jump my case Jillian..." lol...after reading this whole "case and point" on starving yourself. What can I say, timing was impecible.

The apple shape. People with apple shapes tend to store fat in their upper bodies, so if an apple is carrying extra weight, it's usually around the belly. Apples have evolved to store fat in this way to adapt to long periods of famine. Fat stored in the upper body can lead to heart disease, so it is important for apples to be health conscious.

The pear shape. Pears hold the majority of their fat in the lower body: hips, buttocks, saddlebags. Pears are mostly women. This shape has evolved because fat stored in these areas aids in fertility and breast-feeding. This type of fat is not as much of a health risk as abdominal fat, but it is harder to lose.

The proportioned shape. Lucky proportionates have fat cells distributed equally throughout their entire body. When they gain weight, they gain it everywhere. When they lose weight, it comes off evenly.

SOOOOO...the good news of the day....*drum roll*

I'M FAT ALL OVER!!!

Yessireee...I have the blessing of being this 3rd category of people who's fat is non-discriminatory. Oh no, there is definately no picking and choosing favorites here - my fat calls this whole body home. On the real though, I have always considered myself "lucky" that my body is for the most part proportionate when it comes to weight distribution. Now I can rest assured knowing that it's the easiest body type to lose weight evenly with. My internal fear has been that I'm going to be some deformed FREAK SHOW once I lose a significant about of weight and I'd be more self-consciencious and insecure at a healthy weight than I was at an obese one.

In ways, this "weight loss journey" really has MANY parallels to my life as a Christian. The devil convinces us that sin is all we know and makes life without it seem so foreign and unimaginable that often you stay bound because it's simply "all you know." The whole time God is offering FREEDOM. When we go through tests & trials we are called to be faithful to what God is calling us to and not worry about the future. We just have to have faith and trust that the outcome with be ok.

That's where I'm at right now, being overweight is what I've known my whole life and the thought of one day being within a normal weight range is so foreign that it often scares me more than motivates me. I know this is not what's best for me, but it seems easier than the unknown - I know how to be the "overweight me." I worry about how I'll look - but my part is being faithful to honor this temple as God's called me to, the rest I should just trust Him on. I think I just had a little lesson on FAITH today...

Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Hebrews 11 (NKJV)
By Faith We Understand
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."