The journey...

Life is in the journey, not the destination, so do what you can and take it one day at a time. Go slow, do it right, and make your changes permanent — then help out others who are where you were.

~Jillian Michaels

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Monday, April 20, 2009

Hard to swallow...


My WW weigh in was yesterday and unfortunately the results were not in line with my success 3 days prior. How do you gain 5 lbs in 2 1/2 days? I've come to one of two conclusions:
  1. The scale at my competition mis-weighed me because it's really not the best scale
  2. That water pill I took on Thursday really worked and I lost nearly 5 lbs of water weight in 7 hours that I quickly gained back in the days following.

Either conclusion saddens me to the point it was hard to maintain focused and stay hopeful yesterday. It's crazy how one event can alter your ENTIRE outlook on a situation. *sigh*

Well, although today is better in the sense that I don't feel like "throwing in the towel," anymore, I still feel a little disheartened by the difference between 25lbs lost and 30lbs lost. :( I said to a few of my friends last week,

"I know it kinda redundant for a fat person to say 'I feel fat today,' however I do..."

and that's how I'm feeling yet again. I guess it's more of a "confidence" issue rather than a weight issue that I'm implying when I make that statement. Although I know I'm overweight, that's reality, I typically carry myself in a way to where I don't walk around feeling "fat." So for me, fat is a mentality - being overweight is the reality. By the end of today I want to leave behind that "mentality," and continue working to change my "reality." WOW - the mind of Mesha, don't stay for a long ride, you might be in for more than you asked for. HAHA.

So on a seperate note, earlier last week I posted about my "prophetical" calendar and today it's right in line with "prophecy" again. Todays message reads:

"sometime this month...Volunteer to read to kids at an understaffed pre-school or shelter."

Tomorrow I will be going to read a book & teach a lesson on savings in Kansas City, MO to an inner city school. It's called "Teach A Child To Save Day." I had the opportunity to participate in this last year as well and it turned out to be quite a treat. I'm not gonna lie, 3rd graders intimidate me, but hopefully I'll get through it without sweating bullets.

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