Was it worth it?

So, how'd everyone do for Thanksgiving? Was the turkey made just right with all the fixin's?

I am PROUD to say I survived my FIRST Thanksgiving while pursuing my Healthy LIFESTYLE change. One of my BEST friends RANDOMLY came to surprise me from Indiana and spent the weekend with me. I love it because she's someone who I met through facebook back in July who has lost almost the EXACT weight as I have and we literally weigh within 1-2 pounds of each other. She LOVES Jesus and through this journey we've become BEST friends! Over the weekend we got to share Thanksgiving, Black Friday madness, Plaza lights, game night with friends, KC BBQ, house/dog sitting, CHURCH, lunch fellowship...we made it ALLLLL the way until Sunday and she had dropped 4 pounds and I maintained.

...and THEN...this happened! YEP! That's none other than a LIKE IT size cup of "Cookie Doughn't Ya Want Some" ice-cream from COLD STONE CREAMERY! Besides...what's a better way to end a weekend with a friend than a little ice cream...WOW! Um yea, by Tuesday I had gained! (add Cracker Barrel and Chick-fil-a to that equation and you paint a BETTER picture as to why).

Now the question I keep hearing whenever I splurge or make a poor choice is:

WAS.IT.WORTH.IT?

You've probably heard people ask the SAME question. I was talking to a friend the other day and I stopped them when I was asked that question. For the first time I REALLLY thought it out!

NO! It's NOT worth it! Why do we ask ourselves this question? We are asking, "Was that FAT LADDEN, CALORIE PACKED, JUNK FOOD ITEM worth your health?" You may label that statement as extreme...but seriously, how do we juggle what IS or isn't worth it? By taste? Food that TASTES good is what got me in this situation to begin with...was being 342 pounds at the age of 23 truthfully WORTH it? How do we deteremine WHEN that fried chicken is NOT worth it...when our bodies have finally shut down and we begin racking up the doctor's bills to prove it?

Here's the deal - I will PREACH moderation on this journey til I am blue in the face...do NOT mistake what I'm saying as you can NEVER eat a french fry or slice of pizza again! All I'm saying is why do we ask ourselves these questions that when you think them out...really are quite foolish? I don't want questions like that to become our greatest deception. How many times in a WEEK can I ask myself: "Was it worth it?" just to JUSTIFY my poor food choice? How often in a DAY can I ask myself this question for it to be acceptable?

I just want us to stop telling ourselves that what TASTES good is MORE worth it than what properly nourishes our bodies. That's all...

Verse(s) of the Day:

Genesis 3:1, 3:13

3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."

"To eat or NOT to eat..."

I'M BACK...don't think I was giving up on you or anything!!!

I just happened to get SICK! (HaaChooo!!!)

So last time we "talked" I was confessing an emotional GAIN and brutally honest and transparent for two reasons:

1. Accountability

2. Support

It wasn't so much for YOU to keep me accountable, although I appreciate it when you do...however, it was for ME to be accountable to myself. Like I said, if I'm truly convinced that this HAS become a lifestyle change and giving up is NOT an option, why not openly "face the facts" and keep on moving. Why be ashamed or embarrassed about my start and current weight when I know it does not define me or discredit who I'm becoming. SOOOO...Thank You all for your comments and again supporting me on this LONG, hard, yet enjoyable journey that is more than worth it because I am worth it!!!

NOW...

Some of you may be wondering, "So what does this all have to do with a 'No Food or Drink' and 'Just Say No' picture?" Wondering how I cheated and/or messed up AGAIN? Why I opened by paraphrasing my last blog?? Am I beating around bushes???

NOPE!

I filled in for a retirement center branch last week which is always a pleasure because the residents have so much to offer in conversation. Well, the head chef stopped by the bank office while I was working and "generously" dropped of a slice of KEY LIME PIE (while I was ON THE PHONE of all times)!!!

I nearly had a panic attack when I ended my call because I was now faced with a perfectly sliced piece of KEY LIME PIE on a ceramic saucer (this is an important detail) that I KNEW I had not budgeted for NOR should I be eating. I was now faced with the question: "To eat or NOT to eat?" I now faced whether I "politely" accept this kind gesture from "retirement chef" or do I stick to my day because after all, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail..." and if you PLAN and don't stick to it...well, you still failed.

(It's okay to laugh at that comment...it was supposed to be funny...SMILE a little!!!)

So back to the story!!! The fact that this sweet treat sat on my desk on a CERAMIC SAUCER is a major detail folks! The retirement branch closes at 4pm at which time I lock the doors and am well on my way. This means...RETIREMENT CHEF will likely be back before 4pm to retrieve this dirty dish and inquire about my satisfaction. Lying wasn't an option...but for that days eating itinerary that piece of pie wasn't worth the $$price$$. So many decisions, so little time and it felt as though the WALLS themselves were staring at me waiting for this CHOICE. At that moment I drew what seemed to be a great conclusion: "When RETIREMENT CHEF returns, I'll simply tell him I'm dieting and I really shouldn't be eating that pie but 'Thanks' anyways."

PERFECT!!! (...in a "picture-perfect" world...)

This is when my thought process is interrupted by none other than Mr. RETIREMENT CHEF!!! With a glistening piece of pie still awaiting my appetite I immediately pitch my line. Right when I felt the invisible "pat on the back," he replied with: "GOOD! It's sugar free," and was well on his way before I could react and with this ceramic saucer remaining on my desk.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Some may say, "Rock on, that's great!" Oh no, not me...now a bad situation just got WORSE!!! Folks, just because something is SUGAR FREE does NOT constitute CALORIE FREE. Better option...sometimes...but this doesn't void the fact that this TREAT is calories you EAT.

I am PROUD to say that I resisted the temptation and eased away from the wall I felt backed against by discretely disposing of the pie to avoid an offense and simply *SMILING* as I handed him this empty ceramic saucer and proceeded to appear too "busy" to engage in conversation. (Okay, maybe a little deceptive...but it worked alright!!!)

MISSION COMPLETE: "It's all about choices..."

Verse of the Day: Titus 2:11-13

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,

Face the facts...

Let's go back to the basics of math for a moment. If you have 1 + 1 we all know it equals 2. It's a simple equation that can't have any other possible result. When it comes to weight loss we know the variables are calories in, calories out. The scale can give a false reading because of various factors such as water retention, but for true weight loss/gain the basic equation is (calories in - calories out). We are always working towards a deficit if you are trying to LOSE weight.

These past 2 1/2 weeks I've had FAR more on my calories IN side than my calories OUT side. I say all the time to those who ask for advice that the hardest part of weight loss is the MENTAL/EMOTIONAL side of it and I'm gonna be honest, I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately and there is no ride-operator available to stop it...BUT WAIT...I'm the ride op! Weight loss is like a teeter-totter and you are daily striving for that balance emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I've let circumstances not caused by me wear on my heart and my mind to the point of almost torment.

So here's the deal...I've made HORRIBLE food choices for two weeks straight now and to no surprise, I'm paying with HORRIBLE weigh in results. I avoided the scale for 1 1/2 weeks because I didn't want to FACE THE FACTS. I've told myself that I didn't want to EVER see myself under that 100 pounds lost mark once I reached it and I felt like my worst fear has been coming true. I'm a firm believer in you REAP what you SOW. The reaping isn't always an immediate reaction...but the reaping happens. I'm paying on the scale for the poor sowing in my body. Poor food choices, lack of exercise, neglecting my vitamins and thyroid medicine. AY!

...NOW it's time for some accountability folks. I've been 8 months into this journey now and I've managed concealing my weight on this blog. For all of my faithful blog readers I have nothing to be secretive about any longer though, you've all served as a great source of encouragement, love and support.

TODAY is the day of revealing, a day of transparency and brutal honesty with all of YOU. If I KNOW that I'm determined to see this through the long haul why should I hesitate in laying myself bare?

I started February 2nd at 342.2 pounds and hit my lowest weight 2 weeks ago at 235.9 pounds. Since then I've gained 5 pounds over the past 2 weeks and am now at 240.9 pounds. My ultimate goal is 140-145 pounds. The only reason I am "airing my dirty laundry" on my blog is for accountability. My friends, family, blog readers, FB friends...you've known where I've been and where I am now....you know where I want to be. It's easy to see the ones you love everyday and in the back of your minds "know" they could afford to lose a little weight without knowing the true state of their being. You look at your loved ones in a different light and do not see the state they may be in physically, mentally or emotionally. You mark my last dollar, if you were to ask my closest friends, they would've had NO CLUE I was nearly 350 pounds (and probably heavier at some points). In their minds they loved me the same and my weight didn't matter...which PRAISE GOD for people who don't judge you for your weight...BUT...I was in a seriously BAD state of health that was daily getting worse and let's face it, I STILL am at a bad state of health, I'm just choosing to make it better.

I'm obese.

I'm unhealthy.

I'm out to make a lifestyle change.

I'm ready to start SOWING in a way that REAPS beautifully.

Galatians 6:7-8

"...for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."

Double-take

...you all know when you have those moments where you see something that you have to turn to glance at twice. Whether it caught you by surprise, it was worth seeing again or you second guessed REALLY seeing what you just saw...we typically call these moments "Double-takes."

When you see yourself EVERY day in the mirror, it's often hard to see the progress from now versus "then." We are our worst critics and I know I often walk away from the mirror more discouraged than encouraged by the reflection staring back at me. It's because of this twisted image I paint of myself that drowns out the memories of what I USED to look like.

Well today, I posed a challenge on Facebook to take 5 minutes out of your day to go through old photo albums and create a "split photo" displaying your progress. The response was amazing! It generated a positive atmosphere of encouragement and initiated the realization of accomplishment for several ladies I know who are pursuing their own roads to better health.

Coming home and seeing those pictures and the edifying comments that followed was one of the highlights of my day! WOW...so many messages of tears shed over the visual display of how GREAT each one of them truly is doing and having a moment to see that progress that is often overlooked or neglected from the one who deserves to celebrate it most...YOU!

June 2008 @ Juneteeth/October 2009 before "scenic photo walk."July 2008 as Maid of Honor/October 2009 Wisconsin Dells "Ladies Night Out."
October 2009 @ Sisterhood Retreat/February 2009 for friends birthday

February 2009 @ KFL benefit banquet/October 2009 in Wisconsin Dells, WI

Verse of the Day:

James 1:22-24 (NIV)
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Whether "Sisterhood" or "friends"...

oh YES - we went to The Dells...when it was FREEZING!!!

Ali, Me & Lexi

"Ladies Night Out"

This pic was for Connor (my new God-son) I love you buddy!

Crazy idea I had...haha...oh so fun! (Ali and I)

Elliptical

WISCONSIN + CHEESE = CHEESEHEADS!!!



Valerie "my little ray of sunshine" and I

My roomie for the weekend, an amazingly strong woman - Ali!

Before seperating our personalized bracelet charms! Bittersweet!

"The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Pants"

The Dells, WI - Retreat 2009

It's been awhile since I was able to share with you all as the past month has been incredibly busy and chaotic to say the least. In the meantime, I just returned from an incredibly memorable retreat with a group of ladies formerly known as "The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Pants."

In July, a group of 6 ladies and I formed a weight loss support group after crossing each other's paths via Kristin Steede's blog and facebook page (Season 7 of The Biggest Loser) We created a private group on facebook to submit daily challenges M-F, record our weekly weigh-in results and document our milestone dates. It feels as though the group was birthed overnight and it turned into an indescribable power house of encouragement.

With over 600 pounds lost as a group, the atmosphere that we had created was tight-knit and motivating. Travelling from Georgia, Indiana, Hawaii, Missouri, Kansas and Wisconsin - we all met for the first time in person for our "Sisterhood Retreat," in Wisconsin Dells, WI. We stayed in the beautiful "bear claw" lodge at Spring Brook Vacation Home Rental development for 4 days and 3 nights.

Highlights

• Thursday night I had the privilege of meeting BOTH Kristin Steede and Cathy Skell from Season 7 of NBC's hit TV show The Biggest Loser. If you've followed my blog for any time at all, you already know that the "fire" under my saddle that initially got me off the couch was watching Kristin through tears on my best friends couch as she overcame obstacles that seemed impossible. Needless to say, dinner at Chili's that night with them was the PERFECT way to start off my vacation. The two of these woman are not only inspiring, beautiful and strong...but they are the most down-to-earth women! Conversation wasn't hard for a moment with them as we laughed, shared and listened for 3 solid hours. They have compassionate hearts that are undeniable. If you ever have the opportunity to meet someone who has encouraged you in any area of your life - you'll understand that you cherish that moment!

• Friday we arrived at the lodge and after settling in our rooms, we exchanged gifts that no one had "pre-planned," with each other but apparently we all had the same idea. It was great seeing how each of these ladies who I've grown to love so much all had the same thought in mind to get something "special" for each sister. Each gift was incredibly heart-felt and well thought out. The gift I made for each of them was a framed and matted collage including each of our pictures including Kristin's (being as we all found each other through her) and also included a picture of "Inspiration Point," which is at a tree that you often see on The Biggest Loser on the hilltop. Under each girls frame I hand-wrote a quote (using a calligraphy pen) that they either personally said themselves that I found profound and encouraging or a quote that I know they use as motivation on their own weight loss journey. When I made those gifts, I never expected the reaction I received once they all flipped over their personalized frames and read their own words written for themselves to always reflect on - everyone was quiet and then I looked at the faces of each of these 5 women who I've grown to love so dearly over the past few months and tears were flowing from their eyes (ay! now I wanna cry). WOW! These girls have went from merely "facebook friends" and blog followers to ladies I am so thankful to have in my life.

• Friday night was our pre-scheduled "Ladies Night Out." After sharing our gifts, tears, laughs and what seemed like a MILLION beautiful pictures, we all washed up and changed to go out for dinner at Marley's. The way we all connected in person, a stranger would have thought we'd all known each other for YEARS! Never would you have guessed we had all met each other for the first time in person less than 8 hours prior. Not once did I feel an awkward moment of silence or uneasiness not knowing what to say or how to act. Friday Night at dinner TWO of my lovely sisters surprised me with the BEST and most memorable NON-Birthday, BIRTHDAY celebration ever! OMGOODNESS!!! Words cannot describe the highlight of this night other than my shocked response of speechlessness and best ab workout ever as a result of LAUGHTER! The employees came out with a HUGE sundae (this wasn't sugar free, low calorie ice cream friends), put a CHICKEN hat on my head and sang a song that quite frankly I didn't even hear because I was still in shock trying to piece together exactly what was happening to me!!! I have to laugh at Val saying, "Is it Mesha's birthday? I feel horrible, I didn't know it was her birthday!?!" Oh boy, "Ed," was our chicken's name and the laughs that came from that night I don't believe will ever end!

• Saturday morning five of us ventured to the fitness center in the club house and had our group work-out. One of the things I was looking forward to more than ANYTHING on this trip was the opportunity to work out side-by-side with these strong, successful women who have pushed themselves every day on their own and NOW we were getting the opportunity to push ourselves as a group. For me, working out with these girls was like playing a power mix on you iPod while pushing through an extra mile - I was determined to challenge myself! Lexi and I did interval training on the treadmill and for the first time ever I RAN (not jogged) but RAN at a 8.0! WOW! (I think they secretly wanted to KILL me over the weekend). I am so thankful for that memory of working out with the girls!

• Sunday morning Mouse (Courtney) and I had a one-on-one water aerobics workout at the club house pool! Our workout lasted around an hour and I appreciated that quality time getting to talk, laugh and joke together. I am thankful we got this opportunity to break away for awhile and I'm not gonna lie - my workout routine kicked MY butt! Ms. Courtney somehow had bruises after all was said and done. haha...I told her she should have let me know she was allergic to water in advance (j/k).

• Sunday afternoon we did some tourist shopping and returned to the lodge. Four of us ventured out on our own little leisurely walk and "photo shoot" along the trail. I had so much fun with these girls on our walk and so many funny jokes will always remain. Numerous moments were captured by camera and the photos speak a story of themselves. That "get-away" was one of the most carefree, relaxed moments of my vacation. I wish ALL of these girls lived closer because I could do walks like that EVERY day with them and never get bored.

NEW FOOD EXPERIENCES

Everything that was prepared for lunches and dinner this weekend I LOVED (Thanks Valerie, Ali & Alexis).

• Quinoa Salad (delicious) w/ FRESH pineapple from Hawaii (OH so good)
  
• Vegetable Lasagne (I had a second helping AND brought left overs home...AY! YUM!)


• Tofu Peanut Vegetable Stir Fry (MOUTH WATERING!!! Tofu is not bad at all!)

• White Chili topped with fat free sour cream and 2% shredded cheese (I want some NOW)
  

When the weekend at The Dells was done and over, goodbyes were hard to receive! No one wanted the fun we had shared to end and no one wanted to give that final hug saying "goodbye" as we saw one another off! As it is, we created memories that will last a life-time, but the vacation had to end...

...which brings us back to the "goodbye hugs." I now see that they were more than just a "see you next time," but rather the foreshadowing of a great group that had served it's purpose disbanding and leaving with some important life lessons learned. Due to a series of events, "The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Pants" is no more...but I feel strongly that some, if not all, of the friendships formed will stand!

I don't believe every relationship is meant to last forever, some come in a season for a reason and then they slowly fade away. That's kinda how I feel about the concept of "The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Pants," I don't regret one moment of our "Sisterhood" because I feel it was introduced in the perfect season of my life and so much good DID come out of it. As fast as it came, it went...but the ride was most defnitely worth it.

I LOVE YOU VALERIE, ALI, ALEXIS, ANNA, COURTNEY & KRISTIN!!!

Verse of the Day:

Colossians 3:12–14

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

GIANT SLAIN! 100 POUNDS!!!

down 10 jean sizes!!!

OFFICIAL AS OF: Sunday, September 27th, 2009

(100.8 pounds lost in 8 months)

April 2009

October 2009

AH HA....alas! That GIANT has been slain friends! As of Sunday, September 27th, 2009 - I am PROUD to announce that I have OFFICIALLY lost over 100 pounds in 8 months!!!

The reality of it all hit me the following morning as I was driving to water aerobics class and listening to worship music! GOD IS SO GOOD AND HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL!!! I look back over the past 8 months and when I give it thought - the eating right and working out really was NOT that hard...it's the mental part of it that's a mountain to climb.

Weight loss is like a gold mine, you dig and dig and get all dirty but after time you begin finding jewels along the way. I've learned so much spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically and each learning experience, whether good or bad - they've all served a purpose in teaching me how to succeed!

A year ago I NEVER would have thought I'd be in the place I am today! Full of joy, faith being renewed and daily finding "me." Not to mention...100 POUNDS LIGHTER!!! I have a LONG journey to still travel, but you know what friends...this is a lifestyle that never ends and I'm enjoying the ride.

NOW...onto a side note! I keep hearing people say, "I've fallen off the wagon" in reference to their weight loss journeys... My response: "Let's leave the wagon behind!" It's almost 2010, it's time to start driving fuel efficient vehicles that will last. To me the wagon is a "diet," hard to maintain, easily damaged when the road is tough and not guaranteed to last. The road I am on is a lifestyle change and although the road is surely rough, chances are less likely for me to be thrown out if I'm in a reliable CAR and not a wagon (Preferably one with seat belts...lol)

Go check out my girl Stacey's blog - God brings new friends into our lives at different times for different reasons and she has been a great added blessing! She featured my 100 lb milestone and her encouragement to me has been great! It's amazing having people in your life who can encourage you mentally, physically AND spiritually - she's one of them!

Miley Cyrus (better known as Hannah Montana)

The Climb

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

.......(Chorus)

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Verse of the Day:

Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Getting hotter...

TODAY'S WEIGH-IN: -1.2 lbs
TOTAL LOST: -96.2 pounds since February 2009

Have you ever played that game where you are trying to find something and the person who hid it tells you whether you are “hot,” “warm” or “cold?” You are usually wandering around a room while they sit laughing and saying, “you’re getting warmer,” or “cold, ICE cold…so cold you may freeze.”

WELL…the closer I get to reaching this 100 pound milestone, the more I hear this voice saying, “You’re getting hotter, you are so close…keep going, you can almost reach out and grab it.”

BUT…

…at the same time it feels like I’m trudging through mud the closer I get and it becomes THAT much harder to just reach through and claim that milestone VICTORY as mine! I want it SO bad yet at times it feels so intangible. Ay! I remember last month feeling like I had it in the bag…and then I set myself back (notice I acknowledge that I, as in me and me alone, set MYSELF back) and it took a whole month to recover.

Does it sound stupid to you when I say that although I’ve lost over 90 pounds in 7 ½ months that at times it’s still hard to believe I’m really doing this? At times it’s hard to believe that I’ve REALLY come this far? At times I look in the mirror and feel as though I don’t see a change even though my old clothes can’t be held up even with a belt anymore?

This 100 pound mark has been like my “Goliath.” Every day it comes out to taunt me and bring accusation against me and whisper lies that I CANNOT defeat it. As crazy and bizarre as it sounds, at times I’m actually afraid of this 100 pound milestone because I don’t want to just hit it, I want to surpass it far enough that even if I had an “off” week I wouldn’t find myself back in the “90 pounds lost range.” Once I shed my tears of joy and REJOICE over that great loss – I NEVER want to find myself in that place on the scale again. I will be rejoicing over the accomplishment, not over the number on the scale though. 100 pounds lost is a milestone nonetheless, BUT, it’s also just a half-way point for me.

When Goliath (from the Bible) would DAILY approach the battle line and spew his taunts, insults and accusations against the troops of Israel, the people backed away in fear. NONE of them were bold enough and recognized the victory they had in the LORD…until…David saw the enemy and recognized that “HE,” yes “HE” who is in me is GREATER, yes GREATER than this giant that stands before me…and what did David do? He didn’t lollygag around waiting for some miracle to occur…the Bible says he RAN to the battle line and he defeated this giant who had become an embarrassment to the Lord’s army. The thing that was impressed on my heart most about this story a few years back was that anytime we sit and dwell on our circumstance, we dwell on the obstacle standing in front of us – the longer we look at it, the bigger and harder it seems to overcome. The more we entertain the thought of how “weak” I am and how “great” the issue is – the less likely we are to face it head on rather the accepting defeat. David didn’t allow time for that fear to sink in causing him to cowar and come running back with his tail between his legs, NOPE, he proudly proclaimed that TODAY he was going to defeat this giant and then he ran to MAKE.IT.HAPPEN.

TODAY…I’m proclaiming that the giant that has been standing before me daily and shouting lies of doubt and defeat…THAT GIANT WILL BE DEFEATED!!!

I will claim that 100 POUNDS LOST milestone as my own and I will keep pressing through, keep running, keep lifting, keep eating right AND keep trusting that by GOD'S STRENGTH, I will make it. I just need to keep doing the things I KNOW I need to be doing in order to run to that battle line and MAKE.IT.HAPPEN!

THEN…I will be dancing like David danced…but with more clothes on...lol (2 Sam 6:14)!!!

All of YOU…my faithful encouragers and supporters…keep checking back on my side-bar (weight tracker) – I WILL reach that 100 pounds and go far beyond that!!! Thank you for all of the love, support and encouragement you’ve given and shown me. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Verse(s) of the Day:

1 Samuel 17:48-50
As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.
So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

STRIVES TOGETHER...

You've probably all heard the popular saying, "A family that prays together, stays together." Well, I created my own family phrase:

"A family that STRIVES together, THRIVES together."

~213 POUNDS LOST~

(Mom & Dad started 2008, I started February 2009)

Weight loss is a decision YOU have to make for yourself, no one can make that decision to pursue better health and fitness for you. The amazing thing about my family is each of us made our own decisions to get healthier and in turn it's become an incredible bonding opportunity. We help keep each other accountable and are supportive in each other's healthier life-styles. No fast food is brought into my folks house. All food cooked can be eaten "worry free" by any of us without it being laden with excessive amounts of calories. As an adult who has moved out of my folks house, it's great to say I go on walks with Mom & Dad several times a week. I meet Dad at the gym in the mornings and Mom at the gym in the evenings. On our walks we often have DEEP conversations and are able to enjoy that quality time together.

The "Wright Family" is not only STRIVING towards weight loss and better health TOGETHER...but 7 1/2 months AND 213 pounds later....we are THRIVING together.

ABOUT THE VERSE: The verse below comes out of Nehemiah when he began rebuilding the wall that were broken down around Jerusalem. I have always LOVED the illustration of the verse(s) below because as the men rebuilt the wall, there was opposition from the enemy who eventually threatened to advance against them. Nehemiah set men with their weapons next to their families around the wall who continued working on the task at hand while protecting their family in the process. I think it's just such a powerful story of how we are supposed to fight for our families but we don't neglect our own "work" in the process.

Obesity, heart disease, diabeties, family genetics & heredity are ALL enemies of my family - so we MUST fight against them in order as a means of preventative maintenance. While we each have a fight that we individually can't neglect, we are "stationed at that wall," so to speak - protecting one another in the process! I LOVE IT!!!

Verse of the Day:

Nehemiah 4:13-14
Therefore I positioned men behind the lower parts of the wall, at the openings; and I set the people according to their families, with their swords, their spears, and their bows. And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.”

FORGIVE YOURSELF...

THE BIGGEST LOSER SEASON PREMIERE IS 2MORROW STARTING @ 7p CST!!!

You do NOT want to miss it!

"It's all about second chances..."

Don't wait until 2morrow to change your life, make that step today!!!

To keep in pace with the structure of my blog, as usual I will incorporate the verse of the day that is impressed on my heart. In brief, I chose this verse because this season is all about "second chances," and this scripture is about FORGIVENESS. I see a parallel between being given a second chance and being forgiven, freed or released of whatever it is that you may need that second chance for. Whether it be something attempted and failed, something you did wrong and are shown mercy or even having an unfortunate event occur such as tragedy to where you're given something to help pull you from the dark place of despair and get you back to living life - those are ALL examples of "second chances." I love this verse and feel it's incredibly relevant for my life because I have been forgiven of so much and in turn it's caused me to love with a deeper love of mercy and compassion towards others in their weakness and struggle. I allowed myself to get to the EXTREME weight I had reached, I've deeply wounded friends in my past, I've fallen short in MANY areas of life...but, I was given SECOND CHANCES. FORGIVENESS gives people a second chance to make things right - it says, "Hey look, we aren't going to dwell on what was then...I'm letting go of that and I'm hoping for something better now."

As far as weight goes...I think some of us SERIOUSLY need to take a little time out to forgive ourselves. Have you resented yourself because of past choices? Have you found yourself angry for allowing yourself to get to the weight that you are? You may have even felt as though you "hate" yourself because of how much your food choices have cost you in your life and that of your family. You HAVE to love and forgive yourself or else you will become your own worst enemy and lose your self worth.

If God has forgiven you, others have forgiven you...why is it usually so hard for us to forgive ourselves? I'm not just talking weight loss now, is there ANYTHING you are holding un-forgiveness towards YOURSELF over? That's an open question...tell me why YOU think it's hard to forgive yourself? How will you work at letting go and releasing yourself from that prison?

Verse of the day:

Luke 7:47 (The Message)

She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal."

It's all about choices...

YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM..

WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!!

Yep, you read that right! It's employee appreciation week here at my job and every year they have the ice cream truck come to the bank for us all to run like hyped up kids on SPEED once again! EVERY YEAR..I have always opted for the Cookies and Cream cup - which is laden with FAT, SUGAR & 290 CALORIES (that's almost one WHOLE meal for me)!!! This year I opted for the Frozen Fruit Strawberry bar (made with real fruit). Weighing it at (*drum roll please*) - 130 CALORIES. Now, before I get a load of hecklers -- let my preface by saying YES...it's still got sugar and HFCS in it - however, a life-style change is "ALL ABOUT CHOICES." I'd be crazy if I told you I'd never have a dinner roll, a sweet treat, MAC N CHEESE or go out for dinner again in my life...I'd be setting myself up for F.A.I.L.U.R.E.

Life really is all about choices - not just in weight loss. We choose which directions to take in life whether good or bad. We choose whether we let circumstances dictate the rest of our lives or if we dictate our circumstances. Every day it's about making a CHOICE! Faith. Work. Friends. Weight Loss. EVERY day each of us answers a question, whether conscientiously or sub-conscientiously: "Who am I?"

We answer it by our actions, our words, our habits, our goals, our passions, our RESPONSES (this is a BIG one)...and what we are willing to fight for. These past two weeks, though UP and down...have brought that daily question to the forefront of my conscience once again!

"Who am I?"

I am in love with JESUS!

I am a daughter, a sister, a friend!

I am a lover, not a fighter.

My life has purpose!

I have weaknesses and even failures - BUT I AM STRONG!

Weight loss doesn't define me. Being a "Senior Relationship Banker" doesn't define me. Honestly..."I" don't even define me anymore...

My identity is found in CHRIST! I can chase after idle things all day long...weight loss being one of them...but it may only add a few more healthier years to my life on earth...absolutely nothing eternally though. I'm redirecting my focus, RE-defining me and regaining the realization of who I truly am IN HIM!!!

I'M STEPPING UP MY GAME ONCE AGAIN...not in my own strength, but through HIM!

I'M BACCCCKKKK....*SMILE*

Verse of the Day:

Joshua 24:15 (NKJV)
And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Life Support

Hey everyone ~

I haven't been faithful in blogging lately, there has been SO MUCH going on in my life. To keep things brief - the past 3 weeks I've been learning A LOT about "balance." I feel like I've been torn in 1000 directions as my weight loss continues I'm daily being asked for tips & advice, help, etc. I LOVE that aspect of helping other people - that is something I would ultimately love to do is help others who are determined to lose weight and lose it the healthy way. At this point though I've neglected SO much by placing everyone else before my own needs. Sleeping had become almost non-existent, I went over 800 minutes on my phone plan and my email inbox has never received so many messages. It's truly been an exciting experience - yet at the same time it's been an incredibly stressful one not knowing how to properly juggle life. I've been literally at a stand-still the past month due to stress and I'm only 1 lb less than when I ended my competition on August 5th. Monday I had a breaking point and was found curled up in my bed in tears talking to a dear friend of mine. In that moment of vulnerability I learned that as much as I want to help everyone else, ultimately they've GOT to make these decisions for themselves. I can't be a source of "life support" to the wonderful people I've met and had the privilege of encouraging over these past 8 months. If I continue, this new "lifestyle" will not be sustainable to them once I back away. I'm sure you've all known someone who does something or acts a certain way JUST because they heard or saw someone else doing it? Typically that type of action isn't sustainable and only lasts for a period of time because it isn't REAL to them. Anytime we allow someone else to follow us without it really being in their own hearts yet - we are setting them up for failure. I've had to learn how to run, leap, jump and when I fall down - get back up...and I had to learn it on my own.

As I'm sitting here typing this I can't help but think about conviction. One definition for conviction is: the state of being convinced. In order for you to truly live in a certain way - you've GOT to be convinced that it is right, that it works, that it's truth, that it's possible! The testimony of another is always great - but nothing is proved more real than personal experience. At times in life we just have to step back in order for someone to have their own experience and personally grow.

Come on guys - let's grow!

In faith. In love. In hope. In LIFE.

Music has been something that has taken my hand and walked me through so many of my emotions lately. I literally listen to songs on repeat and draw near to God as I'm crying out in prayer. Like I mentioned above, finding a balance in life has been incredibly difficult lately and I've been struggling in so many areas. The song I poured my heart out to in the car the other night goes like this:

Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli

You may think
I’m just fine
How could anything
Ever be out of line?

I take my time
To set the stage
To make sure everything
Is all in place

Even though I’ve got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words

(Chorus)
Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can’t see
Anything
Through the dark
Surrounding me
And at times I’m unsure
About the ground
Beneath my feet
If it’s safe and sound

When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me

Verse of the Day:

Matthew 6:6
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE!!!

CONGRATS TO THOSE WHO TOOK ON THE 100 MILE CHALLENGE FOR AUGUST!!!

I completed my challenge with 4 days to spare! WAAHOO! My first victory lap the following day was my fastest mile interval @ 13.37 min.

This Month’s Challenge is called “Beat the Clock.” This challenge is for you to set your own personal goal and work hard to “beat the clock.” Choose your cardio and spend this month improving on your speed, stamina & endurance. Clock your distance, time and journal how you feel after your workouts. Let’s see how much we can personally improve in a month. [Ex. Clock time for 1 mile on treadmill/elliptical/cross trainer on September 1st and see how much you can improve your time/stamina in one month].

For those of you who haven’t joined, dailymile.com is an excellent website to log your exercise AND briefly jot notes about each workout. This is where I track my progress and log my time. My goal is to improve my mile time, but more importantly than even “beating” a time is increasing my stamina.

So the question of the day is….ARE YOU GAME???

As much as I love challenging everyone, ultimately we need to be our own inspiration.

Challenge yourself! I'll route you on...

How to add "Beat the Clock" logo to blog...

1. Click the "Beat the Clock" logo or choice above.

2. Right Click photo and click "Save As" (save to computer)

3. From your blog click "Customize" in top right hand corner.

4. Click "Add a gadget"

5. Add the "Picture" gadget

6. Select the "Beat the Clock" Logo saved on your PC

7. Attach the following link: "http://rebornwright.blogspot.com/2009/08/september-challenge.html" - (to refer others to the challenge.)

TADA If you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me at Demesha.Wright@gmail.com.

If you aren't already, I encourage you to log your workouts @ http://www.dailymile.com/. It's a GREAT website and will be incredibly beneficial for tracking your times as well as allowing others (like me) to motivate you along the way!

BTW: Biggest Loser: Season 8 starts September 15th - Don't miss it!

Verse of the Day:

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Give honor, where honor is due...

I'm sure each of you has been encouraged by someone in some way or another. On my weight loss journey - I've been inspired by more people than I could begin naming since I started this in February.

WHAT GOT YOU OFF THE COUCH? As incredibly blessed as I've been by the support group that I have growing LITERALLY daily - the first step started @ the end of January as I held back tears on my best friends couch watching these two strong, beautiful ladies pictured above fight adversity and push through the tough obstacles thrown their way on Season 7 of The Biggest Loser. Cathy Skell & Kristin Steede (mother/daughter) showed me that day that I'm not a lost cause and that I CAN do what it takes to lose weight without surgery as most doctors try to pawn off on anyone considered "severely obese." I still have to laugh because I watched the show completely by coincidence because I had got locked out of my house and I chilled @ my friends until my roommate got home. As it is, EVERY tuesday night during the season she watches "her show" the Biggest Loser and as an unexpected guest for the evening - I found myself watching right along with her. If I NEVER got locked out that night, I may have NEVER watched that show - she'd tried to get me to watch it for years. That night something clicked for me and my life has been absolutely CHANGED! (You can check my weight loss progress on my sidebar - updated weekly)

If you've been looking for that extra push or need a "challenge" to keep you accountable - I highly encourage you to go check out Kristin & Cathy's "Step it Up & Work it Out" challenge @ www.kristinsteede.com/blog. Every tuesday we post our results on Kristin's blog and we are going on Week 2 - but it's not too late to participate. Don't wait until the Biggest Loser season starts this year, those of us taking the challenge are committing to get up and active and keep our acts in check before the season begins! Why wait?

Thank you Cathy & Kristin! You ladies were a part of what has changed my life!

BIGGEST LOSER: SEASON 8 BEGINS SEPTEMBER 15

You DON'T want to miss it!

Verse of the Day:

Romans 13:7 (NIV)
"Give everyone what you owe him: ...if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

Calling all challengers...

MESSAGE TO MY 100 MILE CHALLENGERS!!!

WE ONLY HAVE 7 DAYS LEFT!!!

How is everyone doing on meeting their goal of 100 miles of various cardio exercise for the month of August? Are you an overachiever? Right on track? Or maybe it's been a little rough?

Whatever the case is - PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR JOINING! Are you @ least getting up and active? If so, ROCK ON! 100 miles was just a challenge goal - living active is the ULTIMATE goal though.

You can check out my progress in the sidebar to your left - but it's not about me, I'm so excited for all of YOU! Seriously, for those of you I've had the privilege of watching on Dailymile.com - I'm totally encouraged by your workouts. TOTALLY encouraged by your determination and your support of each other. I think more than even seeing the miles - it's the incredible motivational words back and forth between each other that brings a smile to my face.

I have learned A LOT over the last month about the ability to push myself! When I'm tired, when I'm lazy, when I'm discouraged, when I'm weak - I still have the ability to overtake that thought process and work my way through it! I have the ability within me to PUSH myself even when I can "think up" more reasons to just blow it off. My confidence level has increased and I've realized that my weight doesn't have to be my "excuse" anymore. I want this! I can have this! Even if it's "hard." Typically the things you cherish most in life are ones you've had to work for - not only that, but a lot of times that work was HARD. However, the reward made it worth it.

I'm not telling some unknown secret when I say, "Living a healthy life can be H.A.R.D! But the end result is worth it..."

I have numerous family, church friends, co-workers and facebook friends taking this challenge too, but here are some bloggers who have been staying active with the challenge:

Michelle @ secrets of a former fat girl
Tony C @ Tony C today
Mother's Heart Weight Loss
Betsy @ Witness this fitness
Tigerlilly @ Where is Tigerlilly
Jackie @ Now Revealing the Frost Family
MochaTrina @ The Good, the bad and the HONGRY
NOTWBTRFLY @ The Best is yet to be
Ali @ Momma Ali's Journey
Beth @ My Ordinary Life
Cheryl @ Why
Dana @ Letter's to Elijah

So my question to all of you, whether you participated in this challenge or not: How will YOU challenge yourself next month? What new goal will you set to make yourself proud?

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK EVERYONE...I'M PROUD OF EACH ONE OF YOU!!!

Verse of the Day:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

SELF EVALUATION

Did you ever have to do a self evaluation in school? Normally they'd give you a little question/answer sheet and you'd evaluate your own work - how much work did you REALLY put into this? You've always got two options with a self-evaluation:

1. Be perfectly honest, afterall this is YOUR grade on the line. Only YOU know how much time & effort went into it.

2. Rob yourself by neglecting to acknowledge the areas that may have been slacking. You are only hurting yourself by lying. With that being said - if you've put any amount of energy into this and it's your first "edit," there usually is a good balance btwn the above and below par areas.

Okay, so I say all of this for a point as usual. If any of you pay attention to my BLING BLING weight tracker (go ahead - look 2 u'r left) - you may have noticed that I had a PRETTY significant gain last week after the competition ended. Not only that, but 2morrow is weigh in day and it's likely there may be a small addition again. I can respond in an emotional way which is INCREDIBLY tempting and just throw in the towel and be fed up with my efforts! ...OR I can evaluate my situation and CHOOSE to see the victories along with the mistakes and continue on with some self-correction.

IN addition to this - seeing that scale jump up - if that's not enough to make you wanna cry and throw the scale throw a mirror - I did something last week to change my attitude and redirect my attention on the positives so I wasn't "wallowing in my sorrows" and walking around crying "WOE IS ME!" <--haha...

I went and had my measurements done to see the BIGGER picture of this ordeal - that definitely gave me reassurance that things were still on track - even with a small detour.

STATS

Inches lost...

1.25' - Chest

2' - Rgt Arm

2.25' - Rgt Thigh

4' - Abdomen

6.25' - Hips

10.25' - Waist

TOTAL INCHES LOST: 26 inches

BODY WEIGHT LOST: 22.6% from start weight

So as I said...it definitely changed my attitude.

NECESSARY REVISIONS

1. Living healthy does NOT been not living life! Special events will happen (in my case family reunion, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner & wedding in 2 week span) - BUT just make wise decisions! If you are going to have dessert - plan u'r day to accommodate dessert.

2. Just because they offer you food - does NOT mean you have to accept. Politely explain that you'd rather not - give your reasoning if necessary. True friends will respect that and not sabotage your success.

3. Pack a snack! Seriously...preportion out snacks that you can munch on while others are indulging in chocolates, chips and random junk food snacks.

4. If you slip up, GET UP! One bad day should NOT lead to one back week, which leads to two weeks and more...GET UP!

5. LASTLY! Stay positive! If you start spewing those same negative thoughts you had before back into your mind - guess what - you'll start believing them again! Instead of hanging face and feeling like a failure, talk to yourself. Yea, I said it! "Hey Mesha, you've been doing so great - shake yourself off and don't give up! You've got this - you ARE more than a conqueror, in our weakness, GOD shows himself strong and mighty on our behalf. Look at all the wonderful changes you've made in your life - those old thoughts aren't you anymore. You are strong. You are courageous. You are an overcomer. You WILL succeed!"

ABOUT THE VERSE: Okay - so about my verse today! I was talking to a great friend of mine on Facebook chat and she always makes it a point to ask me how I'm doing spiritually! I opened up about how it's been rough - because I feel like I've been so consumed with my weight loss and diet/exercise that I've neglected what should be first in my life! I'm an all or nothing kind of gal and it's like wherever I set my focus - that area consumes me! She gave me this verse about "extremes." We've got to find balance in our lives and not do things to the "extremes." It's possible - I'm @ a point where it's what I need to learn how to do.

Verse of the Day:

Ecclesiastes 7:18

It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes...

Take for granted...

Have you ever heard the phrase "I don't take it for granted," or "they took it for granted." How many times have we REALLY pondered that phrase?

What does it mean to TAKE FOR GRANTED?

I went to one of my BFF websites: dictionary.com. I visit it daily only being behind Biblegateway.com on my frequently visited sites list. For the sake of time I'm only going to point out a couple definitions:

–noun
something granted, as a privilege or right

"take for granted"
a. to accept without question or objection; assume: Your loyalty to the cause is taken for granted.

b. to use, accept, or treat in a careless or indifferent manner: A marriage can be headed for trouble if either spouse begins to take the other for granted.

When you say, "I don't take it for granted," you are saying I do not believe this blessing in my life to be common or a given. It's not something I naturally assume as mine, it wasn't an inheritance I deserved, it's not something OWED to me. You see, when we take things for granted, we assume that we deserve them or somehow it is owed to us for one reason or another. A lot of time you don't fully appreciate something in your life if you take it for granted.

You may be saying now, "Um Mesha, what's your point?" Well over the past couple days I've been counting the blessings in my life and I just rejoice over my health, friends, family and experiences I have been offered undeservedly. I do not EVER want to take life for granted - including the ability to get healthy, eat right and work out. Not everyone who struggles with their weight can physically take a walk or visit the gym. Not everyone can afford healthier and fresh foods. Not one bit of the love, care, encouragement and advice that I've received from each one of you reading this RIGHT NOW was owed to me....yet you offered it! I do NOT take any of those things for granted...I'm 100% thankful!

TODAY - I am not "taking for granted" the part you've all played in me realizing I CAN succeed. In a way I attribute part of my success to each of you - I now realize that it ultimately comes down to me, but your love and support is helping me get there at a good, steady pace. I wish I could give to everyone struggling with their own weight what I've received through my blog, facebook, my customers, the sisterhood, former Biggest Loser contestants, etc!

I dream BIG - one day I want to "Pay it forward," and not selfishly keep what I've received from each of you to myself. I still have a LOOOOONG way to go...but I'm choosing to see the future over the here and now. I don't want to EVER forget the trials of this weight loss journey I'm on - the UPS and the DOWNS! I'm glad I started this blog - as an online journal to record the road, something I can look back and reflect on.

Not for one minute do I believe "God made me overweight," - if anyone ever tries to feed you that line - RUN! They are no "life coach" to take advice from. I fully recognize that I had control over the state I'm in - with that being said, I think my eyes were opened and my mindset changed at this point in time for a reason.

If it weren't for "SUCH A TIME AS THIS"...I don't know that I ever would have met the amazing individuals I have since February who I've been encouraged by and had the opportunity to encourage. Had it been 5 years ago or even 5 years from now - I don't know if I could have directly related my weight loss to the truth of the gospel as openly as I do now. In everything I'm doing - over all else I want to point to Christ!

Everyday I'm being humbled by the open door this decision to change my life has made. The people I encounter who I get to encourage, who I get to laugh with and cry with! who I get to speak with about the strength that I've found. The times I get to lend an ear or share my experience in hopes of helping them through theirs.

I haven't taken one step of this weight loss LIFESTYLE change for granted, moreso than weight - MY LIFE IS BEING CHANGED...

ABOUT THE VERSE: I chose a verse from the book of Esther today in parallel to my "such a time as this" statement. Esther was a Jew who was chosen to marry the King. All the while, the King loved Esther deeply (not knowing she was a Jew). The King made a decree to destroy the Jews since they did not submit to the "world's system" of following the King - primarily because it was contrary to their faith in God. At that time Esther was in a position of royality where she had an MONUMENTAL choice to make - deny her people and watch them die, or approach the King on their behalf (possibly costing her own life). Her father wrote a message to her revealing that maybe her marriage to the king had greater purpose than what was originally seen - MAYBE it was for "such a time as this," so that she'd be in line to do God's will and spare her people.

We've GOT to look at our situations and see where we may fall in line with the greater picture called LIFE. We've got to live them with a purpose - knowing that each of us has more to offer the world than just our daily, self-absorbed, "this is for me and myself" only mentality. I'm realizing that my weight loss efforts aren't only for the reward and benefit of myself - it can absolutely be used to change and even SAVE some lives!

Verse of the Day

Esther 4:14 (Amplified Bible)
For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?