The journey...

Life is in the journey, not the destination, so do what you can and take it one day at a time. Go slow, do it right, and make your changes permanent — then help out others who are where you were.

~Jillian Michaels

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Bad Habits die HARD

...5 WEEKS!

The Biggest Weight Loss Challenge that I'm participating in has asked us to go 5 weeks without weighing ourself in order to focus more on eliminating bad habits rather than the scale.  Coming from someone who is used to weighing weekly, 5 weeks without a weigh in is a challenge in and of itself.

With that being said, I understand the purpose of this "changing habits/creating new ones" process because I feel like I'm back at day one.  You'd think after losing over 100 pounds, a person would be FAR beyond that but with a slacking two month period of throwing off all restraints and knowledge of moderation, BAD HABITS DIE HARD...again!

It's weird, I've been craving FRENCH FRIES of all things for a week straight and let me just tell ya that if they were only $0.25 like the picture portrays, "Houston, we'd have a problem."  Although I haven't given in to the craving, I surely haven't been on my "A" game either.

My alternative of choice: ICE CREAMEEEEEk!

If it brings any consolation, I've recently discovered Skinny Cow's new "perfect cups" with 170 calories or less and my "fav flav" is Chocolate Fudge Brownie with 150 calories/2g fat/4 g fiber/5g protein.  You are looking at icecream at 2 points for those who follow Weight Watchers (I personally don't, but weight watchers helped me successfully shed my first 25 lbs.)

My co-worker and I were talking the other day about how you "KNOW" when you are mentally there and when you aren't with weight loss and how it's sometimes hard to get back in the zone.  It's worth re-finding though.  I feel like the past 1 1/2 weeks has been that re-training my brain.

One of the suggestions made for the group is that we all begin incorporating a daily multi-vitamin as well as Omega 3 Fish Oil.  Can I just say that fish oil goes down in the form of a gel cap and makes it's way back up in the form of a nasty burp that tastes like the worse smelling fish you've every sniffed?  Thankfully, my trainer gave me a little "FYI tip" that putting them in the fridge helps aid with the burpy, fish breath experience (Heading to kitchen now).  In addition to Omega 3's and multi-vitamins, Trainer Sam has requested that TEAM BLUE meet with their physician to have the following tests completed:

Blood Pressure 

Fasting Blood Glucose


I'm trying to follow the rules and be an obedient trainee, SOOOOO, I'm facing my fears again and meeting with my Doc on June 2nd to get the scoop.  Here goes nothing.
I feel like I'm slowly finding my way again, but it's not easy once you've fallen away.  That statement is fitting in my life for more reasons than one right now.  I feel like the prodigal.  Went astray in all areas; I've lacked physical obedience, allowed my mind to wander through a desert and spiritually lost my way.  I must say that none hurts near as bad as the last though.  When you know you've neglected your first love, it's painful.

My Redeemer, My Healer, My Savior - God!

When we allow the cares of this world too much influence in our lives we find ourselves bound by them.  Finances, reputation, food, friends, love or the many imitations thereof...they all distract us from what really matters in life: Living for Jesus and Serving others.  I've found myself distracted by a LOT lately and I feel trapped, I want out of this prison of vain concerns.  Nowadays it's hard to dive into God's love-letter better known as the Bible.  Why?  Because when I reflect on it's pages I see exposure of my heart that is hard to see at times.  It's hard to spend a considerable amount of time praising and praying.  Not that I don't want to talk to God, but it's hard when you feel like a failure and condemned on the inside.  I can still find that place of thanksgiving, it's never taken long to be filled with joy when I choose to think about the things God has done and is doing.  Even with that being said though, it's still nothing compared to the deep relationship that I know God desires to have with me.

The good news...the good news is God STILL loves me, God STILL cares and God STILL waits for me to find my way again.  Ya know, the other day I wrote on my private blog and was asking Him, "What is your faithfulness really like?  How long until you give up on me?"  Then I let my mind go into the world of analogies it often drifts to and found myself thinking about the Kansas City Royals Baseball team - go figure.  For anyone who doesn't know, the Royals don't have a very good winning record.  As a matter of fact, for as long as I can remember the Royals have been one of the worst teams in the league.  With that being said, I'm a Royals fan, but not to the fullest extent.  There are some die-hard Royals fans who faithfully attend every season without fail.  Who sit there in the stands cheering them on with just as much passion as the game before no matter what their losing streak may look like.  These fans watch with full-faith and loyalty regardless of how many "strike outs" they may have on their record.  I got to wondering if that's the kind of faithfulness God has for us.  No matter how many times we've hit "foul balls," no matter how many times we've seemingly messed up or "striked-out," no matter what our losing streak may be, does He still faithfully sit in the stands cheering us on with just as much expectancy for us to succeed?  I'm the player, I have control on how hard I try, but He watches ALWAYS believing in me.  I really think that's sorta "picturesque" of what it's like...hmmm...

Now I know you are probably like, "Um...what in the WORLD does all that have to do with weight loss and how did we go from fish oil to faith..." but this blog is about ALL of me and my life is a lot more than an exercise routine or diet plan.  There are a lot of REAL issues that rage inside my heart and mind that are far more meaningful and relevant that just sharing my weight loss wins and woes.

So there you have it, here it goes, the next 5 weeks is much more than eliminating bad habits for a weight loss challenge.  BAD HABITS will DIE HARD for all of me!  Not just in food choices.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, "Body, Mind & Spirit, all three need to come in order to truly be made whole."  The title of my blog is Potter's Clay, I'm making myself as clay in the hands of a potter, God's the potter and I'm asking Him to mold me.  I'm asking that if he takes this ol' lump of clay and sees some pieces of my life that need to be removed, that He'd start forming me without them.  I want to be a vessel of honor that can be used for Him.

Verse(s) of the Day:

Revelation 2:4-5

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first..."

Jeremiah 18:3-6

"So I went down to the potter's house, and saw him working at the wheel.  But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

The the word of the Lord came to me: 'O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?'  declares the Lord.  'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand..."


Journey2Goal said...

You can do this girl:) Keep your eye on Him & He will lead you away from temptation and hold your hand the whole way. You are an amazing inspiration and I feel blessed to have found your blog:) Never lose sight of where you came from & what you've learned from the have so much to celebrate w/ 100+ lb. loss!
On a sidenote, I take a vegan omega supplement so I don't have that nasty taste in my mouth & there is actually research out there that it's safer for you. SO, if you are interested let me know and I'll give you some info.

Justin Lillich said...

I'm back in KS and catching up on your blog. We got the enteric fish oil supplements so there is NO burping or gross fish taste; I wouldn't be able to handle it otherwise. Did you do the fish oil calculator?! It's a crazy amount for the first 90 days. I feel like that's all I'm doing is taking fish oil all day long. So we also got the triple strength ones.
Can't wait to see you soon! (and this is going to post as Justin commenting, because I see I am not signed in, sorry, it's Stacey).