Getting hotter...

TODAY'S WEIGH-IN: -1.2 lbs
TOTAL LOST: -96.2 pounds since February 2009

Have you ever played that game where you are trying to find something and the person who hid it tells you whether you are “hot,” “warm” or “cold?” You are usually wandering around a room while they sit laughing and saying, “you’re getting warmer,” or “cold, ICE cold…so cold you may freeze.”

WELL…the closer I get to reaching this 100 pound milestone, the more I hear this voice saying, “You’re getting hotter, you are so close…keep going, you can almost reach out and grab it.”

BUT…

…at the same time it feels like I’m trudging through mud the closer I get and it becomes THAT much harder to just reach through and claim that milestone VICTORY as mine! I want it SO bad yet at times it feels so intangible. Ay! I remember last month feeling like I had it in the bag…and then I set myself back (notice I acknowledge that I, as in me and me alone, set MYSELF back) and it took a whole month to recover.

Does it sound stupid to you when I say that although I’ve lost over 90 pounds in 7 ½ months that at times it’s still hard to believe I’m really doing this? At times it’s hard to believe that I’ve REALLY come this far? At times I look in the mirror and feel as though I don’t see a change even though my old clothes can’t be held up even with a belt anymore?

This 100 pound mark has been like my “Goliath.” Every day it comes out to taunt me and bring accusation against me and whisper lies that I CANNOT defeat it. As crazy and bizarre as it sounds, at times I’m actually afraid of this 100 pound milestone because I don’t want to just hit it, I want to surpass it far enough that even if I had an “off” week I wouldn’t find myself back in the “90 pounds lost range.” Once I shed my tears of joy and REJOICE over that great loss – I NEVER want to find myself in that place on the scale again. I will be rejoicing over the accomplishment, not over the number on the scale though. 100 pounds lost is a milestone nonetheless, BUT, it’s also just a half-way point for me.

When Goliath (from the Bible) would DAILY approach the battle line and spew his taunts, insults and accusations against the troops of Israel, the people backed away in fear. NONE of them were bold enough and recognized the victory they had in the LORD…until…David saw the enemy and recognized that “HE,” yes “HE” who is in me is GREATER, yes GREATER than this giant that stands before me…and what did David do? He didn’t lollygag around waiting for some miracle to occur…the Bible says he RAN to the battle line and he defeated this giant who had become an embarrassment to the Lord’s army. The thing that was impressed on my heart most about this story a few years back was that anytime we sit and dwell on our circumstance, we dwell on the obstacle standing in front of us – the longer we look at it, the bigger and harder it seems to overcome. The more we entertain the thought of how “weak” I am and how “great” the issue is – the less likely we are to face it head on rather the accepting defeat. David didn’t allow time for that fear to sink in causing him to cowar and come running back with his tail between his legs, NOPE, he proudly proclaimed that TODAY he was going to defeat this giant and then he ran to MAKE.IT.HAPPEN.

TODAY…I’m proclaiming that the giant that has been standing before me daily and shouting lies of doubt and defeat…THAT GIANT WILL BE DEFEATED!!!

I will claim that 100 POUNDS LOST milestone as my own and I will keep pressing through, keep running, keep lifting, keep eating right AND keep trusting that by GOD'S STRENGTH, I will make it. I just need to keep doing the things I KNOW I need to be doing in order to run to that battle line and MAKE.IT.HAPPEN!

THEN…I will be dancing like David danced…but with more clothes on...lol (2 Sam 6:14)!!!

All of YOU…my faithful encouragers and supporters…keep checking back on my side-bar (weight tracker) – I WILL reach that 100 pounds and go far beyond that!!! Thank you for all of the love, support and encouragement you’ve given and shown me. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Verse(s) of the Day:

1 Samuel 17:48-50
As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.
So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.